


Working Title: Lyfrassir Says Poly Rights

by AllePuffle



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: But Hey I Can Self Indulge, Canon Non-Binary Character, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Honestly I Wrote The Mechanisms To Cheesy, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Jonny D’Ville has ADHD, Jonny and Nastya are siblings, Jonny d’Ville Is Jonathan Sims, Jonny’s Inability to do Emotions, Lyfrassir Fills The Role Of Martin, Lyfrassir Isn’t Cis And I Will Die On This Grave, M/M, Me? Projecting My Enby Ass Onto Lyf and My ADHD onto Jonny? Never, Mechanisms Typical Character Death and Violence, Mechanisms and TMA ‘Crossover’, Multi, Murder, Other, Slow Burn, Theres A Focus on ViolinInspector but Not For Awhile, as a treat, for some relationships at least, genderfluid gunpowder tim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26773255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllePuffle/pseuds/AllePuffle
Summary: Tim dared Jonny that he wouldn’t be able to last more than five years on earth without committing crimes. Sounds easy enough. However, Jonny didn’t exactly expect to find a certain inspector on said planet.*ON HIATUS BUT WILL RETURN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE*
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & Nastya Rasputina, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, Lyfrassir Edda/The Mechanisms Ensemble, Poly Mechs, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina, The Mechanisms Ensemble/The Mechanisms Ensemble
Comments: 97
Kudos: 331





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings for chapter: Reference to character death, swearing, self doubt
> 
> Hello, this is just a little sm I’ve been writing on the side. I started 2 weeks ago and have around 13 chapters written.
> 
> Please Enjoy.

It was all rather instantaneous. Jonny was sitting at the dinner table with all of The Mechanisms, save for Nastya and Marius who were tuning their instruments in the band room.    
  


Jonny was working on a cigarette, blowing out puffs of smoke around the room. Ashes didn’t seem bothered by the excess of fumes in the air. They instead were busy looking at the planet the crew was planning on visiting.

Earth. A familiar planet to many on their ship.

Tim was leaning over Ashes’ shoulder, observing their research on some electronic pad that Jonny couldn’t bother to learn the name of. Brian was having a good mannered conversation with Ivy about a book they had both recently began. Raphaella tinkered absentmindedly with an invention she’d talked their ears off about. The Toy Soldier was being The Toy Soldier and staring off into the distance, being creepy.

Pressing his lips together, Tim snatched the pad from Ashes’ hands. They tried to grab the pad back, but Tim waved his gun in their direction. Ashes ceased their attempt, they probably didn’t feel like being shot again today, they had gotten a bullet through the temple for stealing Jonny’s toast that morning. Though they gave Tim an expression that told the rest of them that they would be setting Tim’s quarters on fire soon.

Tim scrolled down the pad and looked up to Jonny. “I have a bet for you.” He said simply.

“Oh, do you now?” Jonny quirked an eyebrow at Tim. “With what kind of rules.” He stumped out the cigarette on the ashtray in front of him.

“Well, we’re arriving at earth next morning, right Brian?” He asked their pilot, who nodded. “Good, well I say it would be interesting if you lived down there for, I dunno. . . five years? Set up roots, get a flat, maybe even a job.”

Jonny barked out his normal manic laugh. “That’s all?! Just five years? Please, Tim, please tell me that you have more than that.” 

“Don’t worry, darling. There's a catch.” Tim grinned. “No crimes, at all.” Everyone who wasn’t paying attention now tuned in with interest. “Not even running a red light or getting a parking ticket. And especially no murder.”

Jonny pressed his jaw together. It was definitely a challenge, but one he could win with some self-control. “Really? Only that? Come on, five years will fly by like that.” He snapped his fingers. Jonny leaned back in his chair, trying to appear as intimidating as possible.

It was Ivy’s chance to laugh. “Jonny, there is easily a 90% chance that you will fail, and fail miserably at that. I doubt you will last more than a year.” She stuck her hand into her pocket and drew out a few coins. “In fact, I’ll bet on it. Five coins that he lasts anywhere between two and three months before tapping out.”

Brian also put down five coins. “I’ll take that bet, I’d say that with the right environment, Jonny could last for around two years.”

Ashes was next. “You have too much faith, my loves. He lasts one week, tops.” Jonny glared at them as they placed five coins near Tim who pulled it into the forming pool of gold.

Raphaella dug out coins and slid them over to Tim. “I believe a year would be a good guess.”

Tim cleared his throat and took in a breath. The others around the table saw this as their cue to plug their ears, except for The Toy Soldier, it either didn’t care, or it was too dull to understand what was about to happen, probably the latter. “NASTYA! MARIUS!” 

Tim’s screams echoed around the dining chamber. “GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE!” Thumping started up nearby and footsteps began to become obvious. 

Nastya Rasputina and Marius von Raum ran into the room, their expressions giving Jonny the feeling that they were none too pleased with being screamed at across The Aurora.

The two of them let out a sigh of relief once they saw that no one was in trouble, nor was the ship on fire. Nastya grumbled and marched over to her normal seat, next to Jonny. Marius, on the other hand, crossed his arms, looking extremely displeased with his fellow Mechanism.

“Tim, I swear to god, if we aren’t about to fly straight into a star I’ll put a bullet through your head.” He fumed. Tim frowned in displeasure, he had already been shot today, he too had been a culprit in the case of Jonny’s missing toast.

“No, it’s not that.” Marius reached for his gun. “But! We are placing bets on Jonny’s torture for the next five years. So I thought you two might want to know.”

Marius slowly put his pistol back into the holster. “Interesting, you’re off the hook for now. Try not to yell so loud next time.” He took his usual place next to Raphaella. “Now, what kind of torture are we talking about.”

“The fun kind.” Tim tossed a coin in the air, smacked it towards Ashes, who caught it in their hand and hurled it back to Tim. He ducked his head down just in time, the coin soared past his hair and stuck into the wall.

“Is there any kind that isn’t fun?” Jonny asked.

“I see your point. Now, Marius, Nastya, we have a plan.” Tim threaded his finger together. “We’ll be on earth in less than a day. I just dared Jonny to stay on earth for five straight years, but he’s not allowed to commit a crime, including murder. We’re betting five gold each on how long he’ll last.”   
  


Nastya and Marius chuckled lowly. Marius fished out five coins. “Alright, I’m in.” He tapped a nail on the table. “I think you’ll break in a year, no more, no less.”

“Alright, two votes for a year.” Tim separated ten coins. “Nastya?”

“I think it’s insulting that you all are underestimating Jonny.” Nastya gave Tim her coins. “I bet he lasts the whole time.” Sparse laughter broke out around the table.

“What?” She asked. “He has basic instincts. If he wants to prove us wrong he’ll probably do it just to spite us.”

Jonny grinned at his sister. “Hell yeah, I will.” He rose proudly.

Toy Soldier seemed to register that there was a world outside its head as its face split into its signature smile. “Oh Jolly Good!” It chirped. “Can I Have Fun Too?” 

Tim sighed but didn’t want to deny TS its rare fun. “Whatever, sure. You can join me. We bet you’ll last for two and a half years.”

Ashes looked around the table at their partners and Nastya. “Well, this will be an entertaining few weeks.” They lifted themself up and waved everyone a good night. “I think I’ll spend tonight alone, it’s been a day.” 

Tim stood up, grabbing Jonny by the waist and placed his hand on The Toy Soldier’s shoulder. “Care to join me this evening, my loves?” 

“Oi!” Raphaella snapped. “You better not be conspiring.” She gave them a stare.

Ivy scoffed. “They totally are, there’s an 84.1% chance.” 

“I have no idea what kind of situation you are insinuating will take place.” Tim withdrew his hands from Jonny and Toy Soldier, hooking his finger over this lip in false thought. He made a clicking noise. 

Raphaella appeared like she was going to break out into her evil cackle, but instead got up and walked over to Tim. She draped her arm across the place where Tim’s neck met his clavicle. She pressed her soft cheek against the scruff of his beard, tilting her head up slightly. She murmured something softly in Tim’s ear, low enough so Jonny could not hear it.

The tips of Tim’s ears became a deep red. “Right, well, that’s an interesting idea.” He addressed Jonny and Toy Soldier. “Why don’t you lot head up to bed? Raphaella and I have some things that need to be talked about before we turn in.”

Raphaella smirked and started to straighten Tim’s coat, lingering on his collar more than she needed to. She took him by the hand and led him out of the room. Before she left the dining room she winked at Ivy and blew kisses at Brian and Marius who were sitting beside each other.

This left Jonny, The Toy Soldier, Nastya, Brian, Marius, and Ivy alone in the room. Everybody save for Nastya began to eye the others with knowledge in their gaze.

Poor, monogamous Nastya scowled. She rose out of her seat and was about to take her leave when she looked back at them to give one last message. “Do keep it down. I would like to get some sleep tonight.”

Marius got up. “I dunno about you, but I think I’ll be joining Raphaella and Tim. Any of you coming?”

Ivy nodded. “Yeah, I don’t feel like doing anything tonight, but it would be lovely to sit there and read while you do whatever you’re planning to do.”

“If it’s alright with you two, I would like to sleep with you tonight?” Brian said to Jonny and TS. 

“Oh! That Sounds Like A Good Time.” The Toy Soldier sang. Marius and Ivy, seeing that no one else was going to come with them, got up and left the dining room. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Said Jonny.

  
  


–––––––––––

Back when Jonny had first joined the Mechanisms, back when it was just him and the Doc, his bed was a twin. However, after he had gotten together with his partners –in one of their rare moments of unanimous agreement– they had decided to put beds big enough to fit all eight of them in all of their quarters.

The Toy Soldier was staring up at the ceiling, counting the stars Marius had put in Jonny’s room. Brian, the most affectionate of the Mechanisms, was cuddling his boyfriend.

The moment they had gotten into bed Brian had pulled Jonny into his lap. He tucked Jonny’s head under his chin and began to rock them both back and forth.

Even though he’d rather die a thousand times over before he admitted it, Jonny loved it whenever Brian did this. Normally, the Mechs only snuggled after sex, or when one of them was having an episode or panic attack. Brian never needed a justification to be with his partners, he was naturally caring, at least when he was on MJE.

Brian cleared his throat to get Toy Soldier’s attention. He patted the empty space next to him. It smiled and sat next to him. Brian swung an arm over TS until they were flush against their sides.

Jonny untangled himself from Brian and sat on the other side of him. Brian kept one arm around him so both him and TS were in the same position. Apparently, it was feeling particularly mushy that night as it looked at Jonny’s hand until he held its fingers in his palm.

“Listen, Jonny.” Brian interrupted the peaceful, rare, silence of the Aurora. “We should talk.”   
  


Jonny grimaced. God, he hated that phrase. It made him think of all the horrible things he’s done in the past 24 hours that could have upset his partners. Ivy once told him that it was illogical for him to always assume the worst, but she wasn’t as reckless and wild as Jonny. She was less likely to fuck everything up.

His mind started to race through every single thing he had done. Did Brian get upset when he shot Tim and Ashes this morning? He never got mad at Jonny for that. Killing each other was just something the Mechanisms did, even Nastya, the only one not a part of their relationship, was prone to being both the murderer and the murdered. But Brian was clearly on MJE mode, maybe he hated that someone he loves committed a crime. Something in his brain told him that Brian was often on MJE and he hadn’t seemed to mind before. Fucking hell, he probably hated Jonny now. 

“Jonny? Jonny? Are you alright, my love?”  _ My love _ . This was the only word to get through to him. Brian didn’t sound mad.

Brian snapped his fingers in front of Jonny’s zoned out eyes. “Jonny are you okay?”

Jonny inhaled sharply. “Huh? What?” He looked around. Brian ran his hand absentmindedly through Jonny’s hair, he seemed mildly worried, but not upset. 

Hoping he could pass it off as falling asleep, Jonny pretended to yawn. “I’m up now. What do you want to talk about.”

Brian shifted, forcing Jonny and Toy Soldier to move with him. “I think it’s going to be a nice experience. The earth visit, I mean.”

Jonny snorted, trying to hide the relief that washed over him. “ _ Nice _ ? I think you mean fuckin’ boring. Or are you really that happy about me leaving for five years?”

“I think sometimes without violence and pillaging will be good for you, maybe it’ll change some of your views on life.” Brian mused.

“Are you shitting me?” Jonny scoffed. “Oh yeah, that sounds right. Five years of playing good will change my whole arse personality.”

Brian sighed. “What do you think, TS?” He gave the order nice and hard, allowing his partner to voice its actual opinions.

“I Want To Agree With You, Brian, But I Like How Jonny Is Now. He’s Fun.” The Toy Soldier smiled, delighted that it was finally able to be itself. “And I Doubt That Being Docile For A Few Years Will Undo Centuries Of Murder.” 

Jonny clapped his right hand on his thigh as his left one was occupied with holding The Toy Soldier’s. “See? I don’t know why you would want to change me.”

He pouted, at this point, Jonny was purposely being a little shit. He gave Brian an almost humorous attempt at the puppy dog eyes. “Don’t you love me the way I am, Brian?”

Dammit, that wasn’t the right thing to say. Brian’s eyebrows dropped down at the ends and lifted near the start. He frowned and squeezed both of his partners. “Of course I do. You know I always will. Just because you could stand to learn some. . . ethics, doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

He ignored the way his heart fluttered. “Yeah sure, just don’t get fucking sappy on me.” Jonny tried to keep the blush in his cheeks at bay.

“Whatever you say.” Brian pecked Jonny on the nose. “Why don’t we head to sleep, lovies? We’ve got a big day tomorrow, right?”

TS lit up. “Oh Yes!” It grinned. It untangled itself from Brian and rolled across his stomach into Jonny’s lap. The Toy Soldier pushed Jonny down onto his back, bringing it with him. “I Call Jonny!” 

Brian chuckled, laying next to them and wrapped both of his arms around the conjoined unit that was TS and Jonny. He kissed Toy Soldier on its painted lips, then turned to Jonny and also kissed him on his mouth, though that was harder because TS had just buried its face in Jonny’s shoulder.

And with that, they fell asleep.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of Marius and Lyfrassir. 
> 
> Jonny becomes Jonathan Sims.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim’s pronouns are ze/zir and later on Jonny will refer to them as they as he doesn’t know their pronouns.
> 
> Warnings: speculation of torture and implied rape, both are untrue. Swearing, descriptions of murder.

  
  


Chapter Two

  
  
  


Marius had a hard time saying goodbye to Jonny. 

Ever since the incident on Asgard with the Bifrost he had gotten soft. All of the Mechs had noticed it. He said ‘I love you’ more than ‘Fuck off’ now. When his partners left for a week or more he would hug them tightly and wish them safe travels. That was decidedly un-Marius-like behavior.

Jonny had known that Marius had been in solitary confinement for frequent violin usage for five years. Not even Ivy and Raphaella knew what happened to him during that time. 

Jonny wasn’t one to worry about people, even his partners. He was aware that he didn’t need to, being alive for thousands of years granted one a certain level of emotional strength. And besides it was not like he had to worry about any Mechanisms, his sister included, dying. Not permanently at least.

Therefore, only something horrible must have happened to Marius to make him break like this. Jonny often had sat up at night, especially when Marius slept next to him, and thought. His head swam with all the gruesome, bloody, and torturous things that could have happened to Marius over those five years 

It had gotten to a point that Jonny resented being in a room with Marius. He still loved Marius, he loved him so much, and that’s why he had to be away from him. Every time he saw Marius all that would go through his mind were the possibilities. And Jonny noticed the other Mechs took to do the same.

In the end the other Mechanisms finally worked up the courage –except Nastya, as she felt it would be best for Marius’ partners to take this into their own hands without her– and sat him down for an intervention.

They told him that they had no idea why he was being so sweet and sensitive these past few years. Ivy and Raphaella had seemed relatively unaffected by the many years in jail. All of them expressed their genuine concern for his mental wellbeing. 

Jonny was wrong, he had always imagined torture of the purest form when he thought of what happened to Marius, sometimes he even considered that something more intimate and violating had happened. But he was ever so wrong.

It was worse than that. Marius had fallen in love.

Specifically fallen in love with one inspector Lyfrassir Edda, full time tired traffic cop and part time violin hater. 

They had been Marius’ only company during the five years in solitary confinement. They would bring him food everyday for five years. Once they slid the food under the slot of the door they would sit down and talk with Marius for sometime almost an hour. Over that time he had fallen deeply in love, and he hoped Lyfrassir had too.

His partners were so happy that Marius hadn’t been hurt during those five years that they let him wax heartfelt poetry about Lyfrassir –or Lyf, as Marius called them– for at least twenty minutes.

He explained to them what Lyfrassir looked like. The beauty of their natural hair, the lightest shade of lavender he had ever seen, almost white. The way their curls fell just below the collar of their purple jacket. The vibrance of their honey coloured skin. The white freckles that were in the shape of stars that littered the apples of their cheeks and their nose. Their eyes were a dull grey, but they would light up whenever Marius made them laugh. And their most noticeable feature, an S shaped scar on the right of their forehead.

Ashes tried to crack a joke about how cheesy he was being to ease the tension, but they, and everyone else knew he was holding something back. Brian, always the optimist, asked if they could go and get Lyfrassir, so his partners could meet the person who stole Marius’ heart.

Then Marius got all mopey again. He simply said that Lyfrassir was on Asgard when Marius escaped. They all understood. Ivy and Raphaella had told them about the destruction of Asgard. There was not a single person left alive.

They had all asked if there was anything they could do to help. None of them could imagine losing any of their partners. Even if he’d only known them for five years and nothing ever happened between him and Lyfrassir, Marius must have been crushed.

Marius only asked for one thing. For everyone to put glow in the dark stars in their rooms. There were two reasons for this. One of them being that he now hated the dark after being in solitary confinement for so long. The other one was that the stars on the ceiling would remind him of Lyf. 

So it was understandable that Marius would be uncomfortable with his boyfriend leaving for the same amount of time it had taken for him to fall in love with Lyfrassir Edda. However, he was still mostly resolute that Jonny would only be gone for a year.

Jonny made sure to draw Marius in for an uncharacteristically long kiss to bid him goodbye. He had gotten up early that morning and talked Brian into allowing him to keep in contact with the Aurora. For both his and Marius’ sanity, not that either had much left.

Raphaella gave Jonny a device she had stolen off of a guard on Asgard. It was called the Figuramuto. It allowed him to change whatever aspects of his appearance he wanted.

He darkened his hair colour, adding streaks of grey into his roots. He also decided on shortening his hair to where his earlobe started. And after changing up his face shape and adding some glasses, he looked like a new person.

He kissed his partners goodbye, and hugged Nastya. After kissing Tim farewell, ze pulled away and took in Jonny’s new form. “You look like a fucking prick.” Ze grinned. “I feel like you’re going to sit me down and info-dump to me about the science behind emulsifiers.”   
  


“The fuck are those?”   
  
“I’m sure you’ll find out on earth.” Jonny was about to turn to leave before Tim caught his shoulder with zir hand. “Remember, try to last two and a half years. Me and TS have money on this.”

“What a romantic send off.”

He left the Aurora, waving to the Mechanisms. He knew this was the last time he’d see them for a while. 

  
  
  
—————  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sasha James, newly appointed assistant to head archivist of The Magnus Institute, Jonathan Sims was late for her first day of work.

It wasn’t her fault, really, it wasn’t. The tube had been dreadfully late, and then she had gotten held up by Jason Grenton from accounting. He had tried to hit on her, and ask her out for the seventh time since they had met. She put him down as gently as possible while still making it clear that she had places to be.

Once she finally entered the Archives, she walked into her new boss’ office. She knocked once, and then twice, before entering Jon’s office. “Hullo? Uh, I’m Sasha James, your new assistant.”

Jonathan Sims peered over the statements he was reading. Sasha had met Jon around four and a half years ago, when they were both working in research. He hadn’t changed a single bit. His hair was still neatly chopped above his ears. His face was still as angular and clean shaven as ever. In fact, it was slightly unnerving, he looked the exact same. He didn’t even gain any new wrinkles over the four years. Though he may have gotten new glasses.

He was dressed in a stereotypical teacher’s outfit. The brown tweed jacket hung loosely around his frame. He wore a green sweater vest over a white button up dress shirt, accented by a dark lime and silver tie.

“Ah, yes.” He still sounded as stuck up as ever. “Good morning miss James. Would you be kind enough to explain to me why you are late?”

God, what a prick. She composed herself. Jon wasn’t her colleague, he was her boss now. “Oh yeah, sorry about that, Jon. The bloody tube was late.” She shrugged, trying to seem casual. “But what are you gonna to do? It’s London.”

Jon sighed and shuffled his papers, setting them down. “That still does not excuse your negligence when it comes to informing me you will be late. And please refrain from using that language around the office. Thank you.” Sasha so desperately wanted to tell him that ‘Bloody’ wasn’t a swear word.

As she was leaving Jon’s office, Sasha ran into Timothy Stoker. He was library staff with her before they both got transferred to the Archives. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t Sasha James.” Tim smiled. 

Sasha liked Tim, he was easy going and kind to everyone no matter what. They had both bonded over being bisexual during their time in the library. They had even hooked up once or twice. She was happy when they were both chosen for the archival assistant position. Even if Sasha secretly hoped that she would have been Gertrude’s successor.

Sasha groaned. “You will not  _ believe _ what Jon just fucking told me.” She lamented.

“Oh no,” Tim didn’t sound distressed. “Jonathan Sims? Being a prick and rude academic? I don’t believe a single word!”

Tim and Sasha walked to their desks, which were right next to each other. “I just feel like he’s being a bitch on purpose today. He laid into me for saying the word ‘bloody’. Said it was inappropriate.” She put quotations around the last word.

“What a twat.” 

“Tim!” She chided, even though she totally agreed with him. “Keep your voice down, we should be happy that he chose us for this position in the first place. Jon could have picked anyone for this position, but he asked us.”

“Still, doesn’t mean he can be an arse about it.” Tim waved. 

They both set to work doing their jobs. Around half an hour later Tim perked his head up. “Did you hear that Elias is hiring a new assistant for Jon?”

Sasha stared at him. “Elias? Isn’t that Jon’s job?”

“I thought it was too, but apparently Jon couldn’t come up with a third assistant, so Elias appointed one for him.” Tim explained.

“Well, I hope he picks someone nice.” Knowing Elias, their new co-worker would probably be either a stuck-up arsehole like Jon, or some half beat stoner kid just out of uni.

“Elias sent us all an email about them.” Tim gestured to his laptop. “Their name is Chaim Bragi. I worked with them in training just before I transfered to the library. They use they/them pronouns, so at least we know that Elias isn’t transphobic.”

Sasha tapped her pen on the table. “I still stand by the fact that he is homophobic.”

“Isn’t he married to that Peter bloke from the Lukas family?”

“Still doesn’t disprove my point. Besides, you cannot convince me that Elias didn’t marry Peter Lukas out of some kind of sugar daddy kink. Have you seen the man, absolute dad bod.”

–––––––––

Jon was not in the best mood. He had just finished video chatting to Ivy, TS, and Nastya when he received the email about the third assistant. 

He had chosen Tim and Sasha because he had to put in little effort to convince them that he was a dick, not to mention the fact that they were both very hard workers, if not a bit silly sometimes. This new person,  _ Chaim Bragi _ , might try to socialize with him, or god forbid, become his friend.

Jon couldn’t get attached to anyone. He was just floating through the days at this point. Counting down the time until he could see his lovers and sister. If he began to like someone then the time would only go by slower.

Fuck. This really shouldn’t be so hard. This was nothing to him, Jon had been alive for thousands and thousands of years. Jon stopped keeping track a long time ago, but he had to be bordering on one million. However, in that time he had his partners and was able to commit all the crimes he could think of.

Jon had been clean for four and a half years. All of his partners had lost the bet. It was highly probable that Nastya had forty coins in her future. At least that’s what it looked like, but Jon was close to the breaking point.

Nearly five years, nearly five years without any crimes. He took a rare oath to tell the other Mechanisms if he did break a law, and so far he hadn’t, but by god if his fingers didn’t itch to pull the revolver out of his desk and go on a rampage.

His dreams were only filled with two thoughts when he slept. Most often, his sleep was rife with his partners being embarrassingly cheesy with him, taking him on dates, kissing him under the moonlight. 

But on some rare instances he would dream about his colleagues and what would happen if he was allowed to commit crimes. He fantasized about how the blood would run down Sasha James’ temple when he shot her point blank through the head. How Elias Bouchard would weep over the death of his husband. How Harold from Human Relations would look dismembered, chopped up, and cooked on a plate for him to eat. How Timothy Stoker would sound gasping, trying to draw in breaths that he couldn’t after Jon slit his throat.

Jon wouldn’t do it, he wouldn’t stay here longer than he had to. He had gotten enough of this miserable rock to satisfy him for hundreds of years, though Tim might force him to come back, as it was their home.

The moment he was freed, he planned to run to the Aurora and, while preserving as much dignity as possible, throw himself back onto his family. Five years with nothing to do but think about the Mechanisms.

And he was not looking forward to meeting Chaim Bragi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny meets his new assistant and decides to call for back up.

Chapter Three

  
  


Jonathan Sims stood at the entrance to the Archives, waiting with Tim and Sasha for Chaim to finally show their face.

“Tell us what they’re like, Tim.” Sasha goated him, breaking their uncomfortable silence.

“Honestly? They remind me of you, Jon.” Tim said. “They’re your classic academic, though they’re like, five times more tired. They’re pretty nice, easy on the eyes. Smart, but can be a prick sometimes.”

“Can you not refer to your co-worker’s attractiveness. That is very unprofessional.” Jon scoffed.

Tim thought that he hid his eye roll pretty well, but Jon saw it rather clearly. “Yeah, yeah, boss. Maybe you’re just jealous that they’re hotter than you.”

“Can we please not talk about this during work hours?” 

“Oh don’t be rude, Tim. I’m sure we could fix Jon up with a lovely person.” Sasha smiled. “What about Rosie? You know, the receptionist? Maybe she’d be willing to go on a date?”

“When did the conversation become about my love life?” Jon tried to keep his temper under control.

“No, you’ve got a point. Jon and Rosie radiate the same energy.” He turned to Jon. “It would be perfect.”

Jon scowled. “I am quite happy in my relationships right now, I do not need you to be ruining that, thank you.”

Fuck. He said too much. Tim’s eyebrows raised cheekily. “Relationships? Eh? I didn’t know you were such a player!”

Jonathan Sims scoffed indignantly and turned his nose up. Jonny d’Ville, on the other hand, had to restrain himself from punching Tim. Assault was a crime. “Hardly, I just want to be working on my relationships with my friends right now. I have no need for a partner.” 

He decided it would be best to keep his loves a secret. Jon didn’t need Tim and Sasha reminding him about what he was so close to on the Aurora. 

They heard a door click open. “Oh, that’ll be Chaim.” Tim announced like it wasn’t obvious.

Jon looked to see who his new assistant would be and–

And. . . oh dear god.

It was them. Lyfrassir Edda stood in the doorway.

It wasn’t the exact picture Marius had shown them. In fact there were some major details missing. Namely their lavender hair and the length, which was half of what Marius described. But the important parts were all there. The dull grey eyes. The S shaped scar on their forehead. Chaim also had freckles, that while the normal human color of tan, seemed to shift form when Jon focused on it too hard.

But it was them. And they were absolutely beautiful.

Jon was at a loss for words for the first time in over a century. Lyfrassir Edda was alive and well. Marius was going to be thrilled.

Still, Jon felt odd around them. There was some kind of energy coming off them that Jon didn’t know the origin of. Something unnatural. Not human. This secured the prospect that this was Lyfrassir Edda.

Why were people looking at him? Oh, shit, right, he should be introducing himself to Lyfrassir. “Good afternoon, are you mx. Chaim Bragi?”   
  
Lyfrassir nodded. “Yes, I am. Thank you for using the correct pronouns.” Of course he did. Jon might be a seasoned serial killer, but he had standards.

“Welcome to the Archives. Make yourself comfortable. Make sure to get your research done on time.” He pointed to Stoker and James. “These two are very hard workers, please try to keep up as much as possible, mx. Bragi.” Jon made himself as stiff as he could.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He moved to head back to his office. “Oh, and try not to disturb me. I’ll be on a video call for a while.”

–––––––––

The moment he sat down at his desk, Jonny d’Ville opened up his old computer and dialed the Aurora’s number. Praying that anyone besides Marius answered his call. Hell, even TS would do.

He counted his lucky stars when the call was answered by Ashes. They were sitting in their room on their bed. Jonny could see the vacantness around them. None of their partners had slept with them the night before. Good, they were alone.

Ashes smiled, not kindly, but not cruelly, it was just a smile. “Well, to what do I owe the great pleasure, my love?” They asked. “Didn’t you just talk to Ivy, Toy Soldier, and Nastya the other day?”

“Ashes,” Jonny interrupted them for a moment. “I need you to come down to The Magnus Institute. There’s something that just you and I need to talk about.”

“What?”

Jonny worried that Marius might be overhearing. “Nothing important.” Even he knew Ashes could smell the bullshit. 

They huffed out a breath. “Listen, Jonny. Remember when you told us about how you hate it when people say things like ‘we need to talk’ because there are too many outcomes you think of.” He nodded. “That’s what you're doing to me right now. Can you at least tell me that you’re not in mortal danger or some shit like that.” 

“No, it’s nothin’ like that. It’s a good thing, trust me.” Jonny was trying to keep himself from rocking back and forth on his feet in excitement. Marius was going to be over the moon.

Ashes raised an eyebrow suggestively. “A good thing, eh? You know that we’re not allow to have sex until your five years are up.” A thought came to them. “That is, unless you’ve finally committed a crime.”

“You fucking wish.” Jonny said. “It’s not for sex, Ashes. There’s something I want to talk to you about in private.”

“Fine, I’ll show up sometime, then.” They said. “But you’ve gotta give me a bit to think of the perfect disguise.”

–––––––––

Jonny had been working with Lyfrassir for two weeks. By the end of that first day, he knew. He knew exactly why Marius had fallen in love with them. 

For one, Marius had always had a thing for the stoic person with a heart of gold. Which was rather humorous considering his partners were literally some of the most wanted criminals of all time.

For another, Lyfrassir was the exact opposite of a people-person. Whenever Stoker and Sasha tried to get drinks with them, Lyf would turn them down. This normally would turn Jonny off of a person. If someone didn’t learn to have some fun in their life, then you wasted it. But Lyfrassir was different, they were serious when it came to work, however, their eyes lit up in laughter whenever Stoker told a good joke. There was an actual personality buried underneath all of that professionalism.

Jonny saw potentional in Lyfrassir. He had noticed the way that their eyes followed around Elias Bouchard. They hated him, they wanted to hurt him.

This was a good happenstance for Jonny, as he had already decided to attempt to get together with Lyfrassir. If he could go on a few dates with the person who stole Marius’ heart and see if they could steal his too, while convincing them to kill Elias at the same time? It was a Win-Win.

Jonny was broken out of his thoughts by a knock at the door. Stoker poked his head through to Jonny’s office. “Hey, boss. There’s a police officer here looking to provide a statement. Should I send her in?”

“I don’t see why you would even need to ask me, that is part of your job after all.” Jonny sniffed. “What is this police officer’s name?”

“I believe it’s miss Basira Hussain. I’ll go and get her right now.”

Jonny was surprised to see Stoker return with Ashes. So surprised, in fact, that he almost dropped his tea. It was noticeable.

“Do you two know each other?” Stoker asked.

“No, I’ve never seen that man in my life.” Ashes deadpanned. “Don’t you have work to be getting to, Stoker?”

Tim was probably going to ask how they knew his last name when Jonny interrupted. “She is right, Tim. Please get back to work as soon as possible. The institute doesn’t pay you to make small talk.” Tim left quickly after that.

Ashes locked the door behind them and sat in the chair across from Jonny’s. He wasted no time in getting out of his seat, rounding the desk, and pulling Ashes into a kiss. He sat down around Ashes, effectively straddling them.

The two of them kissed for a long time. They were heavily making out by the time Ashes pulled away. They were panting, more out of excitement than lack of breath, thanks to their Mechanism. They touched their noses together. Close enough that they could breathe the same air.

They chuckled. “And here I was under the impression that you were telling the truth. You did ask me here to have sex. Does that mean you are giving up?” 

Ashes was about to go into Jonny’s neck when he nudged their mouth away, looking them in the eyes. “No, I actually didn’t want you here for sex. I have no plans to be losing when I’m this close to winning.”

They trailed their fingers up and down Jonny’s thigh, making him shiver. “Then why are you being so. . . clingy?”

“Would you believe that I’m doing this because I love you. Don’t you think that I’ve missed you? It’s been almost five years.” Jonny hoped he sounded more sarcastic than he really was. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been waiting for Ashes’ visit for these past two weeks.

He swung his legs together over Ashes, so he was sitting in their lap facing the wall, as he wrapped his arms around their neck. “Do you want to know what I actually asked you here for?” He whispered.

“I might not if you don’t hurry up.”

“You’ll never guess who I found on this planet.” He pressed his lips under Ashes ear. He kissed them there until they were completely relaxed, so he could make the surprise better. “Lyfrassir Edda.”

Ashes’ hands gripped Jonny’s waist. “Are you being fucking serious right now?”

“Oh yeah, dead serious.” He turned himself so he was facing them again. “They’re going by Chaim Bragi now. They work for Jonathan Sims as his assistant.” He gestured to his new appearance.

Ashes crinkled their eyes in disgust. “Ugh, will you turn off that device Raphaella gave you. It feels like I’m with a whole other person. It looks like you’re a cartoon character that just so happens to be voice acted by Jonny d’Ville.”

Jonny lifted himself off of their lap, and tapped the collar of his dress shirt. He felt his hair grow longer, his facial hair was coming back in patches. He placed his glasses on the desk and began to straddle Ashes once again.

They rubbed their thumb over Jonny’s knuckles. “That’s better.” Ashes hummed.

“Well, is Marius right?” They asked. 

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, but considering this is Marius we are talking about, probably not.”

“Is Lyfrassir Edda really all that fucking great? Are they really that intelligent and sexy? ‘Cause if they’re as beautiful as Marius says they are, then I might need to get me some of that.” Ashes played with a strand of Jonny’s brown hair. 

He could feel the heat building up in his cheeks. Jonny started to think about the way Lyfrassir’s hair looked in the sunlight, the way their brow furrowed when faced with a hard case. He could only imagine what they would look like if/when Jonny would be able to see their real hair and face.

Ashes understood. “Seriously? Even you? Damn. What do  _ you _ see in them?”

Jonny flushed. “Their eyes are beautiful. They’re so smart, but also seem like they’re likely to crash and burn at the slightest mishap. I think I’ll ask them on a date soon. We’re definitely not leaving this planet without them.”

“Ah, I see.” Ashes smiled. “You are clearly planning to have some really fucking awesome threesomes with Lyfrassir and Marius.”

He put his head on their shoulder, mortified that he was having to express emotions. “No it’s not that.” Jonny thought. “Well, yes, it’s partly that. But I’m attracted to their personality as well.”

“Jonny d’Ville, please don’t tell me you’re falling in love with them.” 

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous.” He frowned. “Ivy says it takes at least three months of extreme feelings to fall in love.”

Ashes did a double take. “Wait, wait. How long have you known them for?”

“Hm. . . give or take two weeks.”   
  
“Jonny! Oh my god!” Ashes barked out a laugh so loud that Stoker, James, and Lyfrassir must have heard. “Two weeks? Come on, love. Have you gone mad? What do they have in their pants and where can I get it?”

“I’m not in love with them, Ashes. I just. . . admire their personality.” Fucking hell, posing as Jonathan Sims had effected him more than he had thought. Jonny sounded like a huge loser.

“What do you like about them.” Jonny was about to speak. “And don’t be fucking vauge or tell me about their smarts. What have they said to you to make you like them so much.”

“Well, I actually haven’t talked to them for more than ten seconds.” Jonny had watched them from a distance for two weeks, too stuck in his own mind. 

“Okay,” Ashes sighed. “Once we get you and Lyfrassir back on the Aurora we are all going to have a long talk about your standards for romantic relationships.” They began to laugh, and started to kiss him again.   
  


Jonny should feel embarrassed, but he was happy that Ashes seemed to agree with him. Having Lyfrassir on the Aurora would improve both Jonny and Marius’ mood. Jonny thought it was also likely that the other Mechs would take well to Lyfrassir.

Now all he had to do was convince Lyfrassir.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Chaim is a Hebrew word for life and Bragi is the Norse god of poetry
> 
> Lyfrassir’s namesakes meant life in their common tongue and Edda is a form of Norse poetry


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exploration of Chaim's new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Skinning and Cults, suspected sexual content

Chaim Bragi, formerly known as inspector Lyfrassir Edda of Asgard was adjusting rather well to their circumstances, if they do say so themself.

They had made fast friends with Timothy Stoker and Sasha James, their fellow assistants. Jonathan, their boss, always gave him encouraging smiles when they passed him in the hallways, so Chaim assumed they weren’t doing horribly at their job.

According to Tim, praise from Jonathan was few and far between, so they should be grateful. But they didn’t see anything in Jonathan that could possibly imply that he was as horrible of a boss that his co-workers implied. 

Tim and Sasha were hard workers, no doubt about that, but they definitely had a chatty side. The two had tried to convince Chaim to go to drinks with them, but they turned it down.They rarely indulged in the occasional office gossip with Tim and Sasha.

Ever since they left Asgard, Chaim had been trying harder to let loose and laugh more. They knew that’s what Marius would have wanted. 

Gods, Marius. Everyday that went by made them feel more guilty over his death. 

Chaim worried that Marius died not knowing how much they cared for him. They hoped that Marius cared for them too. They were aware that Marius had other partners, including his cellmates la Cognizi and Alexandria –they couldn’t remember their first names–, but they hoped he could have found a place in his heart for them. Even if they knew it wasn’t deserved.

They should have been nicer to him at the end of it all. The two of them had been so close when Marius was in solitary confinement. However, when they were promoted from a guard to a traffic cop, Chaim became unreasonably rude to him. It was the stress of the promotion, at least that’s what they told themself.

“Did you see that cop that I let into mr boss man’s office.” Tim asked Chaim and Sasha once he sat back down at his desk.

“The one with the hijab?” Sasha was sitting on her desk, swinging her legs, as she had already finished her work of the day.

“Yeah, her name is Basira Hussain. I’m praying that Jon can keep his arsehole-ness under control. The other statement givers don’t have the power to shoot him when he starts being a prick.” Tim said.

It was no secret that Jonathan apparently hated whenever he had to take statements from the public. Chaim still couldn’t see him being like that, but the statement givers often left his office very disgruntled. One even said he was utterly mad, which seemed ridiculous. Jon was anything but, he was too quiet to be a secret crazy lunatic.

All of them chatted about how the secretary from HR was now dating a bloke from research for around ten minutes. When a person, who Chaim assumed was Basira Hussain, shouted.

“Oh my god!” Basira cried. There was some rustling from Jon’s office and they heard no more.

Tim looked at Chaim and Sasha. “What the hell was that?”

“Has she finally snapped? Do you think she’s going to try to kill him? Should we be calling an ambulance right now?” Sasha wondered.

Chaim cleared their throat awkwardly. “Not to be crude, but,” They side eyed the door to his office. “She, uh, didn’t sound particularly upset.”

Sasha cackled, slapping her knee. “Holy shit! You’re so fucking right. You don’t think they’re. . .”

Tim raised his hand and waved it to draw their attention away from the closed office door. “Oh! When I brought Officer Hussain into his office they both looked at each other like they recognized the other. Ms Hussain seemed really pleased.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me more. I don’t want to think about our supposedly prudeish boss fucking a police officer in his office at this moment.” Sasha made a false gagging sound in the back of her throat.

“He couldn’t be. . .” Gods, they could not believe they were talking about this. “Doing this in a work environment. It would be the farthest thing from professional.”

“While I cannot imagine Jonathan Sims going for a quick fuck in his office. He’s been different these past few weeks.” Sasha said. “Like kinder and more relaxed.”   
  
“Yeah, he even said for me to ‘ _ please’ _ leave his office today.” Tim mentioned. “But he’s still strikes me as a man who would insist on no sex until marriage.”

The three of them heard a breathy laugh from the office. Chaim wanted to plug their ears, they felt like they were intruding on Jonathan and Ms Hussain.

“Oh my lord.” Sasha grinned. 

Tim got up from his desk and started to walk over from the assistants’ work space to the front of Jonathan’s office door. He pressed his ear up against the door, leaning into the wood.

Chaim lifted themself out of their seat. They half ran to Tim and dragged him back to the assistants’ cubicles. They dragged a hand over their face. “What the hell are you thinking.” 

“What, I’m just curious.” Tim gave them a pout. “Is that so bad?”

“Yes!” Chaim sighed. “Yes it is. That’s an invasion of their privacy. If they want to do that  _ stuff _ in the office we should just leave them be.”   
  
Sasha leaned onto her hands. “Oh shush.” She turned to Tim. “Well? What did you hear in there.”

“Not much because somebody dragged me away.” He looked pointedly at Chaim. “I don’t think they’re having sex.But they are definitely kissing. I heard the, erm, noises.”

Sasha scowled and covered her eyes, like doing so could erase what she just heard. “Ew. Ew! EW! I was making fucking a joke. I didn’t actually think they were.” She made an obscene gesture.

Tim also needed a second to get himself under control. He smiled cheekily. “You know what? Maybe this will be good for him. He seems like he could stand to get some things out of his system.” 

She slapped his shoulder. “Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

Chaim was guessing that Tim had made a sexual innuendo. After three years on this planet they had adapted to most aspects of earth. However, sometimes human expressions still threw Chaim aloof.

Five or so minutes later the door of Jonathan’s office swung open. Basira and Jonathan stepped out.

Basira was quite put together, if not slightly disheveled –then again, they hadn’t seen her before she entered the office, maybe she always appeared that way–. Her hijab was a bit askew, but not enough to show any actual hair. 

Jonathan, on the other hand, looked like a right mess. The top button of his white dress shirt was undone, which for him was the equivalent of running around the office nude. His dark hair was messy, not obviously so, but since they were looking close at Jonathan, Chaim noticed. His tie was ever so minutely to the left. His glasses were completely gone, they weren’t even clipped to his sweater vest.

But mainly it was his lips. They were swollen pink. Chaim ignored how their stomach flip flopped over Jonathan’s lips. Chaim covered their face with their hands so no one could see their blush.

As Jonathan and Basira passed the archival assistants they both took the time to smile at Chaim, but they ignored Tim and Sasha. They seemed satisfied.

Chaim had formed a little theory over the two weeks of their current employment. Chaim didn’t know why they thought this, but they had come to the conclusion that Jonathan Sims had an attraction to them. 

Maybe it was because they always got less work than Tim and Sasha. Maybe it was because he always grinned at them in the hallways like he knew a secret they didn’t. Maybe it was the person behind the smile, who was so different that their boss.

But it didn’t matter what they thought was going on. They were wrong. Jonathan was clearly with officer Hussain. Chaim was kind of grateful. They suspected that the small crush they had developed on Jonathan was a rebound from Marius. 

Chaim still had a spark of hope that maybe Jonathan could date them as well as Basira. However, Chaim learned the hard way that earth dwellers did not hold the same values as Asgardians.

On Asgard the only people who usually entered monogamous relationships were royalty. Loki and Sigyn were the first royal couple of the same sex to be married. This was because royal marriages were meant to produce an heir. And most monarchs preferred only having one partner because they were only allowed to choose one person to be their royal consort.

The commoners were different. People almost never had one partner. In their youth, Asgardians often took more than a dozen partners. As they got older, some of their partners would fizzle out into other relationships, until they were left with around three or four companions that they would stay with for the rest of their lives.

Chaim was never particularly keen on taking any partners. They had interests elsewhere, mainly their education that would allow them to finally work in their dream job of law enforcement. 

Marius was the only person to ever make them question their life decision to stay single. Then again, Marius was also the only person they had really sat down and had a casual conversation with since their teen years. Maybe they also would have taken to his girlfriends, la Cognizi and Alexandria. Marius seemed to love them dearly, though they fought and bickered often.

Chaim had learned on their first month that most humans on earth didn’t like polyamorus relationship in an embarrassing way they didn’t like to dwell on. Humans here were also assumed to be heterosexual until proven otherwise, which Chaim found rather dumb. Humans were in general, rather dumb.

Don’t get them started on how these creatures viewed gender and sex. Firstly, over half of them thought they were the same thing. Secondly, when Chaim told the others in research that they prefer they/them pronouns, Holton Miller rolled his eyes and called them he/him pronouns for the entirety of their tenure of working together.

And then there were people like Elias Bouchard. By the gods, Elias fucking Bouchard. He was so selfish, he didn’t even care about his husband, Peter Lukas. Elias only used him for money. Chaim hated people like that.

Their supervisor on Asgard when they were a traffic cop was like that. She was that kind of snide that would seem harmless to the outside observer, but when the time arose she would spit venom. 

They had wanted to yell at her. Screaming about how she was so unfair and mean. They were much more mellow and quiet back then. But when they woke up after the destruction of Asgard they were different. Not just physically, but mentally as well. They didn’t want to yell anymore. Chaim wanted to hurt Elias. Badly.

–––––––

Jonny knew he looked less than appropriate in his current state. He made sure that Lyfrassir knew too, taking time to catch their eyes. He gave them a smile that Jonathan Sims would never wear.

Extreme satisfaction overwhelmed him when Lyfrassir ducked and covered their face in an attempt to hide their blush. 

Jonny and Ashes walked through a door to the empty hallway that served as the separation between the rest of The Magnus Institute and The Archives. The hallway was created after the office manager from the library complained about a loose Leitner that destroyed an old Shakespearan poem which was priceless.

The moment Ashes closed the door they put an arm around Jonny’s shoulder. He leaned into it, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to get to touch any of his partners for a while.

“I can’t wait to tell Marius. He’s going to be so happy.” Normally, they wouldn’t have admitted that they cared about their boyfriend’s feelings, but Marius just hadn’t been himself after Asgard. A chance to get Lyfrassir on their team was a chance to get their old Marius back.

Jonny stopped walking, they were alone in the hallway. “No! Don’t! You can’t tell him yet.” He urged.

“What? Why?”   
  
“You know Marius as well as I do.” He frowned. “He’s so fucking implusive. The moment we tell him about Lyfrassir he’ll rush to them.”

“What’s so wrong with that?” They asked.

“If Lyfrassir says no to Marius’ request I’m pretty sure he’ll kidnap them.” They reached the door, but both wordlessly decided not exit the Archives until their conversation was finished. 

“Hey, I’ve always said there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome.” Ashes snorted.

“And I’m not saying I wouldn’t do that too. But their too strong willed to develop Stockholm Syndrome if we kidnap Lyfrassir then they’ll try to escape as soon and fucking possible.” He crossed his arms. “How do you think Marius would handle that?”

“He’d lose his fucking shit.” They mused. “He’d probably kill an entire planet’s population, or he’d just bury himself in his room for a century.”

“Exactly. If I get Lyfrassir to fall in love with me they’ll come with us.”

“I thought Marius said that he suspected Lyf had feelings for him too.”

“We can’t be sure about that. He also said that Lyfrassir ‘changed’ after they became a traffic cop.” Marius had never elaborated more. “And if they deny us once then they probably won’t come with us again.”   
  
“Fuck, Jonny. We should drop you off at random planets more often. You’re so damn eloquent now.” They scratched behind his ear. He tried not to sigh. “Look at you, using proper grammar and big words. I’m so proud.”

“Go to hell.” He growled.

“Don’t need to, I ruled it for a while.”

“Speaking of our planetary detours.” Jonny said. “Have you been up to any fun while I’ve been gone? How’s the homicide been going”

Ashes stretched their lips. “Actually, only The Toy Soldier and I have left the Aurora.”   
  
“Why TS? Has it been getting itself into trouble again?” 

“Only the good kind. I hear it has joined a cult– or maybe its the leader– I forgot. Either way, it seems happy. Though it hasn’t been back to the ship in a while, we should go looking for it soon.” They said the last part as an afterthought.

“A cult, eh? I hope it’s a sex one. ‘Cause if it is, then sign me the fuck up.” Jonny clapped.

“Nah, I think they are more in the vain of kidnapping and skinning people for their flesh.” Ashes shrugged.

“Well it better be saving me some meat.”

Jonny pulled Ashes in for a long languid kiss. Ashes kissed his cheek and squeezed his waist once before waving him farewell and disappearing behind the door.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s so odd reading these back. It seems like I wrote this so long ago!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaim and Jonny finally have a serious talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, average mentions of violence
> 
> I just realized that I tagged Jonathan Sims as Jonathan Sims’ mother. I didn’t notice for wayyyy too long.

Chaim was sitting at their desk three weeks after officer Hussain’s visit. Five weeks after their first day in the Archives. They had talked to Jonathan Sims a grand total of three times, and it was amazing.

Chaim felt even more jealous that Basira Hussain got to have him all to herself. Every time they met with Jonathan Sims for their new weekly briefing they became more interested in him. 

He reminded them of Marius, in a way. They had been able to deduce that this wasn’t a rebound from him. Chaim just had a type. That type just happened to be a slightly unhinged person with secrets written all over their face. 

Jonathan was so different from what they were told when Tim and Sasha were describing him. When greeted with Jonathan, they saw a man who was desperately trying to keep the façade of a good boss on his face. They saw someone who knew more than he let on. Someone who he felt scared of, but also, they wanted to know everything about his story. So sue them if they were attracted to his ambiguity. 

“Hello,” Chaim cleared their throat. “I’m here for my weekly progress report, mr Sims.”

Jonathan placed down his organized papers on the wooden table. “Ah, yes. Thank you for getting here on time without a reminder, mx Bragi.”

The two of them went through the normal boring motions of the weekly report.

Chaim’s first case was an account that one Christopher Hartly had detailed in the snowy mountains owned by his best friend’s family. He had been snowed in with seven of his friends when it happened. They had been attacked by what he described as a wolf that looked scarily like his best friend, Josh’s, sister who had gone missing along with her twin the same time the year prior.

There had been no evidence to support anything of the sort. The only thing that officially happened on that night was the disappearance of Joshua Washington.

Their next case was an odd one to say the least. Rosaline Goldstein wrote a statement about her kidnapping. She claims to have been taken by a dangerous cult that wanted to steal her skin. She had managed to escape at the last moment, but not before catching a glance of the cult’s –which she described as a circus– leader. That was where it got weird. The leader, according to ms Goldstein’s memory, was made out of wood.

After Chaim finished recounting the statement they looked up to Jonathan. They were surprised to find a pleased smile on his face, like he already knew all he had to about the case.

“What are your thoughts?” Chaim asked. They felt a surge of overwhelming curiosity at the mere prospect of Jonathan.

“The second case is no doubt the more. . . wondrous.” He placed a finger on his chin, tapping. “How very fantastical, a wooden person leading a cult.” He chuckled, Chaim blushed.

“Yes, the wooden man-”

“Best not to assume it is wooden, nor to assume it is a man, yes? Perhaps ms Goldstein caught a glimpse of a wooden statue, or maybe she saw a mannequin that was painted the color of tan.” There it was again, the twinkle of something that was not, serious, stoic, Jonathan Sims.

“Yes, that’s a good idea. The thing was not found when the police searched the carnival tent after Ms Goldstein's rescue. They tore apart every single point in that tent, according to the reports.” They showed Jonathan the highlighted part of their notes that detailed the search.

“So, Ms Goldstein was able to escape then?” He sounded. . . disappointed?

“It’s complicated. Technically, yes. She was able to free herself from her imprisonment. However, Ms. Goldstein made several complaints to the police after she returned home from the hospital. She claimed that the wooden man –her words not mine– was stalking her.”   
  
Jonathan was smiling slightly. Chaim knew they should hate the way that made them feel. Gods dammit, they were talking about a horrible crime, the two of them shouldn’t be this cheery, but Chaim couldn’t be inclined to really care.

“And?” He prompted.

“Uh, on the evening of June 24th, 2015, Ms. Goldstein made a call to her local police station in Canary Wharf. In said call, she was described as hysterical and hyperventilating.” They cleared their throat, Jonathan’s smile was becoming more obvious. “When the police arrived at the listed address of Roseline Goldstein, they found nobody on the premises. Though, there was a window broken.”

Jonathan leaned forward, he was now uncomfortably close to Chaim. They were sure that their whole face was red, but that only appeared to please Jonathan more.

“And what, in the end, happened to poor Ms. Roseline Goldstein, Chaim?” He said only a slight bit above a whisper.

They realized that this was the first time Jonathan had called them by their first name, not Chaim Bragi, or Mx Bragi. Gods, why did Jonathan have to be so fucking enticing. 

“Ms Goldstein was found some days later.” Jonathan was going to frown, they could tell. Was he disappointed by the implied survival of Roseline Goldstein. Chaim didn’t like that. “What they found was the  _ remains _ of Ms. Goldstein. She had been skinned alive. Her skin was on the floor next to her, and her body had been completely stripped of all meat that is normally thought to be edible. The meat has never been found, neither has the cult.”

Jonathan split in an honest to goodness grin. “How utterly fascinating. Don’t you think, Chaim?”   
  
He was leaning in so close to them that they could feel the heat of his breath on their face. It smelled vaguely of irony blood, but maybe that was the fact that they had just told him about a case of mutilation that implied cannibalism.

“Do you, um, want my honest opinion on that?” They asked slowly.

“Yes.” But they already knew the answer. They knew they could probably confess to a murder at that moment and Jonathan would laugh it off and clap them on the back. They considered telling Jonathan that they had killed a man, just to see him laugh, but Chaim was always a shite liar.

“This case interests me to almost a concerning extent. If I ignore the ‘wooden man’ then it only becomes more interesting.” They pressed their lips together, deciding not to hold back anymore. “When I pull away all of the possibly supernatural layers, I am left with a clear cut case of human nature. Humans do horrible things because it’s fun. Why else would this person chase Ms Goldstein around for months?”   
  


Chaim worried they weren’t getting their point across. “Listen, not to be morbid, but, I don’t pity her. I don’t even feel bad. She got what was coming to her, just sooner. She got what will come for us all.” It would come for everyone but Chaim.

“What a good area to leave off on.” Jonathan was still smiling.

“Right, well.” They said awkwardly. “I’ll be getting back to work again, then?”

Jonathan nodded. He moved himself impossibly closer, they were almost nose to nose. “Oh, and Chaim?”   
  
“Yes?” They gulped. Chaim wanted to close the distance between the two.

“Would you care to join me at the coffee shop across the street sometime?” 

Chaim flushed. “Are you asking me out on a date, Jonathan?”   
  
“Yes, I suppose I am.” He crinkled his eyes. “And please, do call me Jon. Only my father calls me Jonathan.” He chuckled to himself, like it was an inside joke.

The thought of Basira entered their mind. But, when Jon smiled they couldn’t give a shit about his possible relationship. “I would love to go on a date with you, Jon.”   
  
“Wonderful, how does Thursday work for you, say, 6:00 PM? Does that work for you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” They coughed, as an excuse to hide part of their face in their arm. “Thank you, sir.”

They walked out of his office.

–––––––

It was Wednesday when they finally realized how close they were to going on a date with Jonathan Sims. Tomorrow was their first date, and one that hopefully, would lead to more.

Their pencil went limp in their hand. Something that did not escape Tim. “Hey Chaim? You doing alright, mate?”   
  


“Huh? Yeah? Why do you ask?” Said Chaim.

“I dunno, you just seem a little out of it, is all.” Tim waved his hand in front of his face and squinted his eyes to appear tired. “Anything on your mind.”

Chaim pondered for a moment. They weighed the pros and cons of telling Tim. The con was that they would have to talk to Tim about it, which meant they both probably wouldn’t be able to do their work. The pro was that they could finally talk about their date. They had been bursting with anticipation and had no one to talk to about it. 

Chaim had never really had friends when they lived on Asgard. All of their time and energy had been devoted to becoming an inspector traffic cop. It was a highly ranked position on their home planet. Being an inspector also demanded a lot of respect. Some said that the Valkyries themselves appoint you as an inspector because it takes a certain level of intelligence, and that is admired by Odin. But that was bullshit. All they got out of wasting their time on studying and training was a job and a damn certificate. Chaim wished they had spent more time with their people before their planet was destroyed. They had never had anyone that they could talk things over with before. Maybe Tim could be that person for them.

“Actually, there is something on my mind. If you’ll indulge me?” They asked.

“Sure thing.” Tim jumped up on his desk, something that him and Sasha often did when they were about to forgo their work in favor of conversation.

“Well, I uh, have a date with someone tomorrow?” It sounded more like a question.

Tim laughed. “Are you shitting me right now, Chaim? That’s fucking awesome.”

Chaim felt a blush on their cheeks, it was a different feeling than when they got red around Jon. It was more out of being embarrassed, not being flustered by his advances. “Thank you.”

“Well? Who’s the lucky person?” This was a game that Chaim noticed a lot of these humans liked to play. They found as much thrill in the chase than they did the capturing of the prey. Chaim decided to play along.

“I don’t know if I should say. You know them.” They liked this. It felt like they were from earth.

“Oh! Do I now?” Tim lit up. “I don’t know people with they/them pronouns, ‘sides you of course. So you must be playing the good old pronoun game.”   
  
He rested his head on the heel of his wrist for a moment. “It can’t be Sasha, I know she would have told me.” Chaim affirmed. “Hannah is pretty cute but I think she is married. I hope it’s not Jason, he seems like a fine guy, but I hear from Sash that he’s a bit of a perv to her. And I’m certain it’s not Jon h-”

Chaim choked on nothing.

“Oh. My! GOD!” Tim half screamed. “Say sike right fucking now. Jon?” They nodded. “Jon? Like our Jon? Jonathan Sims? The twink?” They couldn’t tell if Tim was elated or pissed.

“What’s so wrong with that? He’s a nice enough bloke.” Chaim felt insulted that their taste in men was being judged. “To me at least.”

“Who have you been talking to? Jon is such a stuck up arsehole sometimes. I say this as a good thing. It’s nice to have his sternness in the Archives, but still.” Tim looked them over. “I wouldn’t think he’d be your type. Honestly, you two are too similar.”

“I’ve never heard that as a critique of one’s relationship.”

“That sentence proves what I mean, Chaim.” Tim groaned. “You are both posh, hard workers, smart, and serious. Basically the same bloody person.”

“That is always what you want to hear about your possible future boyfriend.” Chaim hoped they sounded sarcastic enough.

“You know what, mate? I’m not judging you. I just didn’t expect you to be so forward as to actually ask him out. I cannot believe I missed out on five weeks of teasing you about your crush on our boss.”

“I’ll actually have you know,” They gave Tim a satisfied grin. “That  _ Jon _ asked  _ me _ out to the coffee shop across the street tomorrow.”

Sasha chose that moment to come back from the women's restroom. She saw Tim sitting on his desk and knew they were in the middle of a talk. She smiled and jumped onto her desk as well. “What’s going on here?”   
  
“Sasha! You will not believe what Chaim just told me.” Tim clapped. “Somebody has a crush.”

“Ohh? Really now? Do tell?”

Chaim groaned. “I don’t have a crush. I have a date tomorrow.” Tim prompted them to elaborate. They sighed. “With Jon.”

“Jon Sims?” Sasha didn’t look like she believed it. “Are you playing with me?”

“No, they’re serious. And apparently Jon was the one who asked them out. Not the other way around.” Tim swung his hands and legs about to convey the ridiculousness of it all. 

“Well, good for you, Chaim.” Sasha said. “Can’t say I’m not shocked though. Jon didn’t really seem like your type, mate.”

“Yes! Thank you! See, it’s not just me. It’s because they’re too similar, right.”

“No, it’s ‘cause they’re too different. Jon’s an arsehole and Chaim is actually cool.” Chaim felt rather flattered that Sasha thought he was ‘cool’. They think that’s an earth compliment.

“But that doesn’t matter. We’ll still tease you about it anyways.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this episode of TMA I decided to dedicate all of chapter 20 to my love of GP Tim. 
> 
> As a side note: if the relationships seem rushed then it’s because they don’t do relationships like we do. Also I have eight romantic relationships to develop in a reasonable amount of time.
> 
> We’ll be spending a lot of time on the relationship between Jonny Lyf and Marius in this fic.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: reclaimed usage of the Q slur to describe a sexuality, swearing, non violent gun usage, mentioned attempts at religious conversion, misgendering, mentions of murdered parental figures, mentions of doctor Carmilla, implied homophobia, discussion of transphobia and homophobia, sexual innuendos

Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. Jonny had just checked the clock to see that his date with Lyfrassir was in less than two fucking hours.

Jonny still had at least four hours of work left to do. And while he was sure that Lyfrassir got their work done for the day, –he had given them significantly less than Stoker and Sasha– Jonny might need to do overtime. 

Damn. What was happening to him? He was worrying about a job and if he was getting work done efficiently. He was Jonny fucking d’Ville. He was a damn space pirate. He once committed all the crimes the human mind could imagine, including his suspicious handlement of salmon in Britain. He’d murdered men, women, people, and children. He was better than this.

He was getting his knickers all up in a twist over a date. Why? Was he happy to be going out with Lyfrassir? Of course. They were overwhelmingly attractive, intelligent, clever, and could easily be molded into the perfect fit for their crew. The potential was in them, they just needed a little push. He had been on literally thousands of dates before, but he was nervous.

He pressed his lips together and decided that there was no point in continuing his work today. He only had to keep this position for four and a half more months before he could go back to the Aurora, hopefully with Lyfrassir following him.

Two hours of playing with his gun later there was a knock at the door.

Jonny quickly shoved his pistol in his desk drawer and yelled for whoever was outside his door to ‘please come in’.

Like he suspected, Lyfrassir was on the other side. They were fiddling with the hoops of their belt, clearly self conscious. 

Jonny had no idea what they had to be anxious about. As far as he was concerned, Lyfrassir was the most beautiful mortal on this planet. They must have changed their shirt for the date, as it was different from when Jonny had stopped by their desk to confirm plans, much to Stoker and Sasha’s amusement.

Lyfrassir’s purple shirt was too nice for an assistant to buy on their salary. The shirt was also not a style that Jonny had seen anywhere on earth. The fabric was too smooth and shiny, better than silk, it also looked softer than cashmere. The shirt looked akin to the jumpsuit that Ivy, Marius, and Raphella had been wearing when the other Mechanisms picked them up. The only conclusion Jonny could come up with was that they had been wearing it when Asgard was destroyed.

Jonny quickly got out of his chair and rushed over to greet Lyf. “Hello, Chaim. Are you ready?” He smiled.

“Yes, quite.” They looked like they were trying to debate doing something. Lyfrassir sighed through their nose and touched Jonny’s elbow experimentally. He nodded and moved his arm so their arms were linked together.

The two of them walked out of his office and were about to reach the hallway before they heard a voice shout from behind them.

“Oi!” Stoker jogged up to Lyfrassir, taking sometime to grin at their linked arms. He leaned into their ear and whispered something that Jonny couldn’t hear.

They scoffed and pushed Stoker away, giving him the middle finger. Jonny was impressed at how well Lyfrassir was at adapting to the more earthly habits of these humans. They had learnt to stop using the puralized version of god, and had been able to pick up some slang too.

Lyfrassir led Jonny out of the Archives and out of The Magnus Institute. The coffee shop was a cute little place with several small tables dressed with picnic patterned tablecloths. It was so disgustingly quaint it made Jonny want to vomit right onto that dumb candle lit table.

Jasmine Benjamins was the co-owner of the shop, which was called The Forest Cub. Mrs Benjamins was also the first person on earth that Jonny actually had a conversation with. He fucking hated her.

To be fair Jonny hated pretty much anyone who wasn’t his partners or his sister. But holy shit. She believed in this planet’s god to an almost annoying extent. He was all for freedom of expression religion –unless you were being a twat about it– but everytime he went to the shop she would wish him a ‘godblessed day’. It made Jonny want to punch her.

And then there were her values. After he had first arrived on earth, Jonny had gone shopping at the first shop he could find, it was called Whistles. He had gotten what he thought was a fine choice of clothing. All he bought was a black turtleneck sweater and a brick red leather skirt with a belt. He didn’t see anything wrong with that, but Jasmine did.

She invited him to her fucking place of worship, a church, because she thought he was a ‘misguided poor young soul’. Jonny had legitimately wondered if one of his partners or Nastya had sent this woman to make him lose right away.

Luckily, after that first encounter she mellowed out a little bit. She still had a permanently creepy smile on her face at all times. 

“Hello, Jon. How have you been doing lately?” She greeted them. He wanted to smash her head into the glass window and then slit her pale throat with a shard. 

“Very well, Mrs. Benjamins. Thank you. Is my normal table available?” 

“It is.” She looked at Lyfrassir. “I’ll get the table ready for you and your lady friend.”

Lyfrassir must have sensed that Jonny was about to retaliate to correct her on their pronouns. They touched his dry elbow lighty. “That is very kind of you Mrs. Benjamins.”

Jasmine sat them down at Jonny's normal table by the windows, far away from the general public. No one would be able to hear them back there.

“What an arsehole.” He mumbled under his breath once she walked away.

“No, it’s fine. I’m used to it.”

“I’m so sorry you have to go through that.” Jonny hated how much he meant that. Lyfrassir was too amazing to have to deal with this transphobic bullshit. “She’s like that to everyone, if it makes you feel better. I think she just naturally assumes everything is like it is for her.”

“It’s alright.” They worried their lip in between their teeth. “Jon? Can I ask you something?”   
  
“Of course, anything.” Jonny grabbed Lyfrassir’s hand. He was trying to be as forward as possible. He had less than five months to get them to fall for him.

“Why did you ask me out?” They gulped. “Not that I’m upset that you did. I- uh-” Lyfrassir chuckled. “I’ve actually fancied you for a while, but I never thought anything would really come from it.”

Jonny felt elation that they had been interested in him as well. “The real question is: why wouldn’t I?”

Lyfrassir exhaled. “Well to be truthful, all of the assistants thought you were in a relationship with that officer, Basira Hussain.”

Jonny laughed. “I am.”

They closed their eyes, seemingly bracing themself. “Listen, Jon. I know I don’t have much knowledge about relationships, but I know enough to understand that I don’t want to be your- er- side person.”

“Side person? What do you mean?”

“I dunno if you’ve noticed, but I’m not from Britain.” That was an understatement. “So I don’t have all of your traditions memorized, but I know that it’s looked down upon to have more than one partner. I know that you probably didn’t tell Basira that you are going on a date with me, and therefore betraying her trust.”

Jonny laughed. “That’s true, most of the world is monogamous. However, lucky enough for you, I am not.”

“So Basira knows about this?”

“Oh yes. That’s actually why I invited her to The Institute.” Jonny wanted to cringe at the pronouns. “I wanted to make sure that she was alright with me asking you out. In fact, she told me that she might be interested in taking you out sometime soon.”

He had been stressing about this conversation. Not that Jonny didn’t mind if Lyfrassir wasn’t polyamorous, but then they would have to choose between him and Marius. He and Marius had been together thousands of years, they knew that their relationship would survive. Still, Jonny could barely handle minor issues with his partners let alone a serious conflict. Marius and Ivy said it was because he had rejection sensitive dysphoria.

“I would like to get to know her better before I answer concretely, but I would not be opposed to that.”

Lyfrassir and Jonny sat in silence for a while, it was not uncomfortable, just contemplation. Lyf broke the quiet. “So, um, tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I’m from Texas originally.” Jonny hoped that he didn’t mix up his planets. He could have sworn that his hometown, New Texas, had been named after a city on earth.

“Really? You’re from America? You must have moved pretty early on for you to adapt to the UK accent.” 

Jonny had learned the accent from Tim, as had Ashes and TS during the war. After that they had all decided it was best to keep to english for the sake of Tim’s little knowledge of languages, however, he now knew several dozen. 

“Yeah, I moved after my father, Billy, died.” Jonny was aware how personal that was. He didn’t want to force Lyfrassir to fall in love with him –he wasn’t even certain that he loved them yet, it was just an interest– but the speedier the process the better. Sympathy seemed a good place to start.

Lyfrassir frowned. “Oh, I’m so sorry about that.” They looked like they didn’t know what to say. “How did he die? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Murdered.” He said simply. Best not to elaborate. He didn’t think Lyfrassir would take to kindly to a murder confession. He would wait for the time when he could reveal himself.

They got all red suddenly. God they were so hot. “Oh, my goodness, I’m sorry, again. I hope they caught that monster who did that to you.”

“They never got the chance. He burned down the casino that all of the witnesses were in.” Jonny downcasted his gaze to appear sad. “Witnesses that included my other father.”

He did not like to think about it often, but Jack was really like a second dad to him. Sometimes Jonny could convince himself that Jack loved and cared for him like an actual son, not a surrogate. Even so, he felt no reservations about murdering Jack and burning down the Casino. The Doc showed him how much he needed to let loose of the binds of life and death.

“Damn. I’m sorry again again.” They laughed awkwardly. “We should change the subject. Right? Best not to get too morbid.” They rubbed their thumb over his knuckles.

“Yes, yes, of course. Please, tell me about yourself, Chaim.”

“I was born in a place called Gudvangen. It’s a small village in Norway. I moved here a few years back.” They had a story planned out then.

“Oh? Tell me about that. I’ve never been to Norway before. I hear it is one of the most beautiful countries on this side of the hemisphere.” He tried to sound as interested as possible, but Jonny wanted to know about the real Lyfrassir Edda not Chaim Bragi.

“It is. We were surrounded by a fjord part of the Sognefjord range called  Nærøyfjord . There is a river in our village,  Nærøydalselvi, that runs through the town. Only around 100 people lived in my town. It was very quaint and lovely, I miss it.” Jonny suspected they must have actually lived there at a point. The descriptions were too specific.

They chatted and laughed together for a long while before Jasmine Benjamins came to take their order. Lyfrassir ordered a chocolate chip croissant with butter, while Jonny asked for a bacon cheeseburger with fries. They also asked for apple juice and orange soda respectively.

“A burger and fizzy pop, eh?” They pondered. “You seemed like an avocado on toast and coconut water type of bloke to me.”

Jonny scoffed. “Please, Chaim. I’m hardly  _ that _ posh. Am I?”   
  
Lyfrassir smiled. “That was a posh way to say that. But who am I to complain. Tim said that he thought we were both too posh to be going out on a date with each other.” 

“Wait. Is that what Tim said to you back at the Institute?” He said to keep the conversation going. Jonny could watch Lyfrassir’s lips move for hours, talking about nothing in particular.

Lyf coughed. “No uh, Tim thought it would be humorous to joke about certain. . . things we could do tonight after our date.” 

“Of fucking course. I wouldn’t expect anything more from Tim Stoker.” He couldn’t keep it in. Jonny lost control of himself and barked out his laugh. Not his snotty, stuck up Jonathan Sims laugh. It was his sharp, cruel, Jonny d’Ville laugh. 

There was a single moment of horrible silence where Jonny thought Lyfrassir knew who he was and hated him for it. He wasn’t worried that Lyfrassir knew he was Jonny d’Ville, that would be ridiculous to presume, and even his anxiety ridden brain couldn’t rationalize that. No, he worried that maybe Lyfrassir could see the violent spark of manic energy behind his eyes, and maybe they didn’t like that.

He was sure that Lyfrassir had seen it, absolutely certain of it. They made prolonged eye contact with their date, searching for something. Shit, shit, shitty shit. They hated him now. They hated him, they must. They totally, one hundred percent hated him. 

Lyfrassir’s face split into a devious smile and laughed too. It was high and slightly mad. Their laugh had changed from when they were on Asgard. 

Marius had described their laugh to Jonny, Brian, and Ivy one night while he was sulking in bed before going to sleep. Like most things involving Lyfrassir, Marius got all love struck and began to sigh wantonly about their handsome low laugh and the pretty wrink of their premature crows feet they made while doing it. Though their laugh was different, their face was still stunning.

“Let me tell you, Jonathan Sims.” They pointed a finger into Jonny’s chest. Lyfrassir kept it there long after it was necessary. “You are certainly something, dear.”

Fuck, he was blushing now. _ Get it together, d’Ville. You are a seasoned killer. You once burned down a whole city with Ashes and murdered all of the survivors. _

He had almost gotten the redness of his face under control when it hit Jonny that Lyfrassir had called him  _ dear _ . Damn his queer arse. He choked a little bit on his spit, and even Lyfrassir looked like they had realized what they said a tad bit too late.

“I could say the same thing about you, Chaim.” 

Their conversation continued on in a more flirtatious manner until Jasmine came back with two plates and to cup.

After she placed the food and beverages in front of them, Jasmine turned to Lyfrassir and smiled. “So, sweetheart. What brings a sweet little lady like you to be on a date with Jon Sims?”

Jonny raised his eyebrows, pleading his case to Lyfrassir without words. They smiled slightly and nodded, sitting back to watch, occasionally taking sips of their drink.

“Actually, Mrs. Benjamins. Chaim isn’t a female.”

“Oh,” Her face stilled for a moment, processing. “Well.” She whispered something reassuring under her breath. “I’m so happy that Jon is getting a new friend. I’ve been worried about him. I know how lonely that new job of his has made him.”

God, that woman needed to learn to shut the fuck up. He regretted all of the truthful small talk that they had engaged in over the past four years. Now Lyfrassir looked like they felt bad for them.

“Mrs. Benjamins, Chaim isn’t a male either. They’re neither. And also, if I’m not completely screwing this up-” Okay, he could do it. He could say this. “I hope that we could call each other partners.”

“Indeed. I would love to call you that too.” His heart soared up into his throat.

“Oh. Y-you two are work partners then.” Even she didn’t sound like she believed it anymore.

“Yes. But then again, I would also not mind making out with them.” Jonny said, really only looking to bug Jasmine Benjamins at this point. He leaned across the table and pecked Lyfrassir harshly on the cheek.

Jonny cleared his throat after making sure that Lyfrassir was blushing the appropriate amount. He motioned to their two interlocked hands. “If that’s all Mrs. Benjamins? I believe we aren’t planning on having any more food after we eat this. Would it horribly trouble you to get us our check so we can pay it when we are done?” She rushed away, affirming that she would. 

Lyfrassir let out a snort. Shit, they needed to stop being so damn irresistible. “Wonderful. That went amazing. You know I never really understood why some people are like that.”

“Like what?” Jonny was pretty certain he knew what they were saying, but he wanted to listen to Lyfrassir talk more.

“I believe the people call it transphobia and homophobia here. Though I’m not very sure. Back in  Nærøydalselvi  that sort of thing is really unheard of.”

Jonny knew that Norway was particularly LGBTQ+ friendly, but unfortunately, most places on this planet were not free of bigotry in some way shape or form. So if Lyfrassir was telling the truth, then they must have meant Asgard. Marius told him that polyamory, queerness, and non-cis people were normalized on Asgard.

“Don’t pay attention to her. It’s her fault that she is a homophobic prick.” He squeezed Lyf’s hand.

“I think it’s sweet how much you respect people’s pronouns.” Jonny showed Lyf his teeth. He was  _ not _ sweet. “Most people here aren’t very okay with my pronouns. I’m glad I have admirable people like you, Tim, and Sasha as my colleagues.” 

“To be completely fair, three of my partners don’t use she/her or he/him pronouns. One of them, Basira, uses they/them pronouns and another occasionally does too. So I’m used to them.” Jonny had been waiting for this to come up, he was sick of Lyfrassir, Stoker, and Sasha thinking that Ashes was a cisgender woman.

The two of them finished their meals and then had a small playful spat over who would be paying. After stealing Jonny’s wallet and dangling over his head, Lyfrassir dug out their money and paid with tip before handing his wallet back to him, laughing at Jonny’s petulant facial expression.

Lyfrassir linked their arms together as they both walked out of the cafe. “Well, do you want to say goodbye here?”

“Not really, no.” He shook his head. This was the most fun Jonny had been having in the past four years. Though that one time an old man got hit by a cab in front of him was a runner up.

They grinned at him. “Good, because neither did I.” Lyfrassir cleared their throat. “Do you want to– I dunno– come to my place.”   
  
“To do what exactly?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, besides the fact that I have copious amounts of alcohol, I think you know.” Lyf dragged their fingers over Jonny’s forearm. “But, if you don’t want to, just say the word. Please tell me at anytime if I’m moving too fast or-”

Jonny pressed his lips to Lyfrassir’s for no reason other than it was his job to overthink things, not theirs. The kiss was surprisingly gentle, taking into account it was being given by someone who was prone to murdering children.

He pulled back. “No, you’re going at a good pace. Don’t ever worry about moving too fast with me. Come on, let’s head to your place.” Jonny began to lead them forward.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Time to get into the relationship between Jonny and Lyf. There will be a time skip after this chapter. 
> 
> Also, I tried to expand the TW list this time because I know how specific triggers can be.
> 
> Yes, it’s illegal to carry suspicious salmon in the UK


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flash forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: use of the reclaimed Q slur to describe gender, swearing, referenced panic attacks and ptsd, referenced drowning, referenced injuries and the gore that followed, referenced negative thoughts of self worth

When Jonny had first arrived on earth Ashes had given him a bag full of coins that they used for ‘tax purposes’. They thought it would be pretty funny to only give him a handful at first, joking about how that’s all Jonny would need, considering he’d be on earth for only a week. Nastya had been able to convince them to actually give him five years’ worth of gold, but she made Jonny promise to give them all the gold he didn’t use back.

Jonny found out quickly that people on earth didn’t take gold. However, he had also found out that there were many alternative ways to make money. Jonny reasoned that selling gold on the black market wasn’t actually illegal, he wasn’t hurting anybody after all. Besides, in the end, he walked away with half a million UK pounds.

Ivy, during their first video call, had offered to produce a money spending budget for Jonny. He declined, but asked her if she could find a flat around London for him to settle down in.

His girlfriend had come through with flying colours. She found a beautiful one bedroom flat that costed about 3,749 pounds a month. It was posh, lavish, and far too nice for only one person to be living in. Perfect for his new persona, Jonathan Sims.

Because Ivy found the flat on such short notice, she made sure that it was already furnished. Jonny at first had not cared that his bed was a queen –though he did miss his bed on the Aurora, or maybe he missed being in his partner’s arms– he really didn’t need all that space.

Now, he was glad that he had a queen sized bed because that meant that both he and Lyfrassir could fit in the bed. Even if there was enough space for three people, he and Lyfrassir were always glued together.

Jonny was currently blinking and rubbing at his eyes with his left hand. His right arm was being used as a teddy bear by Lyfrassir, the arm was tucked securely against their chest. Lyf’s legs were wrapped in a koala fashion around Jonny’s, their nose buried into his neck. 

They were both fully clothed in pajamas. Lyf was in clothes they had brought over from their place. In the last three months of their relationship, they had both basically moved into each other’s places.

Lyfrassir, as it turns out, owned a real house. Which was quite impressive for someone who lived in central London. It was small and only had four or five rooms, but it still must have costed 750,000 pounds at least. Even though they had an actual home, Lyfrassir spent most of their nights at Jonny’s flat, and when they did go home, their new boyfriend was always in tow.

Jonny knew Lyfrassir was awake when they snuffled adorably and nuzzled into his shoulder. Jonny ran a hand through their brown chin length hair. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” He teased. Jonny slipped his arm out of Lyfrassir’s grasp, much to their protest. He moved down the bed so he wasn’t sitting up anymore, instead, he was lying next to Lyfrassir, re-tangling their legs. 

“Fuck off.” Their voice was groggy with sleep, but they wrapped their arms around Jonny’s middle when he did the same.

God, Jonny loved sleepy Lyfrassir. There was a twenty-minute grace period in the morning, before they fully woke up, where their filter was completely gone. Jonny fell for them more and more every single day. He started waking up early just because he wanted to see them in the morning.

Jonny scratched behind Lyfrassir’s ear. “We should be getting up soon, babe.”

Lyfrassir’s only response to that was to pull him flush against their chest and groan. “Five more minutes.” They sounded like a child.

“Fine, but you owe me breakfast.” He said, but they both knew that Jonny couldn’t cook for shit, so Lyfrassir was the only one who ever cooked.

–––––––

Chaim had asked Jon if he wanted to shower with them, but he declined on the grounds that he wanted to take a bath, and he knew how much they hated being submerged in water.

It had been an awkward experience when Chaim hadn’t been able to take a bath with Jon. Chaim had, frankly, freaked the fuck out when they touched the water.

Chaim knew why they had had that reaction to something as harmless as water. They had woken up thirty years ago in the middle of an ocean, drowning, floating in and out of consciousness until some nearby sailors had picked them up.

They couldn’t exactly explain that to Jon, so instead, they tried to babble out an excuse, but it was through tears, so he didn’t really understand. He just sat them down on their shared bed and shushed them softly until they fell asleep.

That was something that Chaim never imagined would happen when they started dating Jon. They were at first interested in the secrets of Jonathan Sims. They wanted to know about him. They knew that there were things that Jon still kept hidden from them, but they didn’t really care anymore.

Jonathan Sims had three layers, and Chaim was in love with every single one. The first one was what he presented to the world. A tired, no-nonsense, posh man who would scoff at sexual innuendos, and scold Sasha for her messy handwriting.

Then there was Jon’s second layer, or as Chaim liked to call it, Fun Jon. This Jon was quick-witted, fun-loving, and always down for a dirty joke. But his main feature was the inexplicable love for violence. 

One time, while they were out on a date, a woman tripped and cracked open her skull. There was blood everywhere, as head cuts tended to bleed more than other wounds. Chaim was about to join the crowd of people rushing to her aid when they stopped and looked at their boyfriend.

Jon was quietly chuckling to himself, wearing a manic grin. Chaim wanted to yell at him, wanted to tell him to cut it out, that this was very serious and he was being insensitive. However, when they thought back on the woman’s face as she was falling, they also couldn’t help the smile on their face. What could they say, it  _ was _ pretty funny.

The final layer was Chaim’s personal favorite. Though they loved Fun Jon, the layer they dubbed Soft Jon was their MVP. Soft Jon was the rarest of the three. 

It mainly came out when they were cuddled together alone in their bed, holding each other close. Soft Jon also made appearances whenever Chaim got upset. Jon’s first instinct was always to comfort Chaim, once they calmed down the two of them could solve the problem.

  
  


Jon had let Chaim shower first because the bath would take longer. Once they were showered they changed into a jumper that they were pretty sure actually belonged to Jon, but at this point neither knew anymore. Jon threw them a clean binder before going to run the bath.

In a way, Chaim hated binders. The humans on this planet didn’t understand gender identity as they did on Asgard. Back on their home planet when they came out at genderqueer they were asked their new pronouns and no one else batted an eye. On earth, they had to concern themself with ‘passing’. Now the goal was to make people look at them and be confused about what gender they were seeing to the point that they called Chaim by they/them pronouns.

Chaim set to work cooking breakfast for the two of them like they did every morning. The one time Jon offered to cook he almost burned his own kitchen to the ground. They didn’t let him cook anymore after that.

It was a simple enough breakfast. Chaim scrambled some eggs and turned on the stove so they could heat up baked beans. They put eggs and beans on separate pieces of toast for Jon and then did the same for them. They microwaved black pudding to put on Jon’s plate. Chaim hated it, but Jon said he liked the taste of the pig’s blood, which should have worried them more than it did.

Jon emerged from the bathroom and grabbed his plate, going to sit down on the couch. Chaim joined him, pecking Jon on the lips. They reclined on the couch and placed their feet in Jon’s lap. He placed his warm plate over Chaim’s toes, which were always cold, even though they always wore socks.

It was quiet, the perfect time to bring something up that had been bothering them for a bit. “Dear? Can we talk?”

Jon tensed and inhaled sharply. Fuck. “Shit, uh, I’m sorry. I forgot.” Jon hated that phrase. “I’m not mad at you or anything.”

The stress in Jon’s body didn’t disappear until Chaim sat up and stroked his cheek. They drew him into a passionate kiss. They moved the plates out of the way and sat in his lap, wrapping their arms around his neck.

He let out a sigh and laid his head on their collar bone. “Okay, thanks for clearing that up. What do you want to talk about?”   
  


“Can I meet your other partners soon?” They ran their fingers through his hair. “It’s not that I’m looking for more than you are giving to me, but. . .” 

They trailed off, not knowing how to end it. Chaim knew it was unlikely that they would connect with all of Jon’s partners, he had seven, after all. However, that didn’t mean Chaim didn’t want to meet the people who made their boyfriend happy. And if they fell for those people, then the more the merrier in their opinion.   
  
“There's always more room in your heart, right?” He finished for them. They nodded. They loved how Jon just got them sometimes. “Well, lucky for you they’ll be back in town soon.”   
  


“Back in town?” Chaim supposed they should have guessed that his partners weren’t around at the moment. Jon had spent every morning and night glued to their side. 

“Yes, all of them have been gone for a while.”

“All seven? They left town and didn’t have you come with them?” Chaim suddenly wanted to meet his partners for a very different reason.

“Don’t worry. I chose to stay behind. I wanted to.” Jon blushed slightly. “Besides, if I had gone with them, I wouldn’t have gone on that first date with you. And then we wouldn’t be together now.”

Chaim smiled and kissed him on the nose, something that Jon pretended he hated. “Alright, we should be going to work soon. Statements aren’t going to read themselves.”

–––––––

Chaim separated from Jon’s grasp once they were both in view of The Magnus Institute’s door. Chaim always went into work five minutes before Jon, who waited outside. They still weren't very open with how fast their relationship with Jon had progressed, and didn’t need their co-workers knowing that they slept in the same room every night. 

They sat down at their desk and were immediately engaged by Tim in conversation. “Hey, Chaim. Have you seen Jon around anywhere.”

“No.” They answered too quickly. Shit, they were terrible at lying. It was a miracle they hadn’t outed themself as Lyfrassir Edda yet. “Why?”   
  


“There is someone here to give him a statement. We told them to come back between noon and five, but they insisted on giving their statement as soon as Jon got in.”

“What’s their name? Are they nervous?” It was normal for statement givers to be slightly antsy before talking to Jon. They were about to face their trauma after all.

“Jordan Kennedy. Their experience has to do with pest control.”

“Yeah, they seem kinda off.” Sasha joined in. “Like, I swear they are happy about giving their statement. I haven’t seen that in all my time working here.”

“I’m just going to send them into Jon’s office. He can deal with it.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I’m projecting my feeling about gender onto Lyf? 
> 
> Also I wrote this before Jordan Kennedy appeared in Mag 184, so I get to say I was an OG stan. Love him v much


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan Kennedy visits Jon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: threats of murder, talks about sex, swearing
> 
> Tim/Jordan will be referred to by they/them pronouns until they say their preference

When he was told by Stoker that a one Jordan Kennedy was waiting in for him, the last person Jonny had expected to be sitting on the couch in his office was Tim.

He walked into work five minutes after Lyfrassir did, as was the usual ritual. Jonny made sure to wink at them as he passed by. They blush, clearly grateful that Stoker and Sasha were focused on their paperwork.

Tim was laying on the couch, one arm propped up behind them. They were smiling cheekily at him. “Hello love of lives.”

Jonny was a bit embarrassed at how he jumped into Tim’s lap. He situated his legs around theirs. He pressed a kiss deep on their lips. They just sat there for a long while, enjoying the other’s company.

Tim pushed him off. “Slow down there, tiger.” They kissed him on the neck. “No sex for one and half more months. You know that.”  
  


He pouted. “Fine.” He played with Tim’s braid absentmindedly. “What pronouns are we using today?”

“She/Her.” Tim gestured to the skirt that she was wearing.

Jonny took her by the hand and sat her down across from his desk. He folded his hands together. “Well, then. Tell me Ms Kennedy, would you care to tell me why you are here today?” He gave her a faux frown. “Did you go through something upsetting.”

“You see, Jonathan Sims,” She scoffed at the fake name. “Head Archivist of The Magnus Institute I’ve been having an issue with a rather annoying man who had a propensity to steal my black eyeliner.”

Jonny scowled. “Oh fuck you. What do you really want, you piece of shit?”

“Hush, hush, dearest.” Tim held up her hand. “Is it so bad that I might just want to talk to you?”  
  


“I see, you suddenly want to talk to me after being radio silent on physical contact for almost five years? You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?”

Tim hummed. “You have got me there. Maybe I just want to know why my boyfriend is fucking around with a new partner, and didn’t mention that to me. You told literally everyone else. I had to hear it from Ashes.” She didn’t sound mad, if anything it was playful.  
  


“Hey! It wasn’t just you who I didn’t tell. Marius has no idea either.” Jonny still felt slightly bad for not telling Tim. Transparency was key in a polyamorus relationship.

“That is true. I have a feeling that you didn’t tell me because the last five times in was on a video call with you, Marius was right next to me. Is that correct?” Damn she hit the nail right on the head.

Jonny just scoffed, he didn’t want to talk about the issue with Marius right now. “Are you trying to insinuate that I’m hiding something from you Ms Kennedy? Ma’am I am professional and would never do such a thing.”

Tim laughed and clapped her hands together. “Oh, Jonny! I am loving this new look on you. The whole super sexy academic thing is fitting you very well, my love.”

She stood up and leaned over the desk, running a hand through his shortly cropped hair. “Though it would be better if you looked like my Jonny. I don’t feel like I’m actually talking to you.”

“Funny you say that.” Jonny tapped the collar of his shirt that hid the Figuramuto and transformed back into his normal self. “Ashes said the same thing”

“Holy shit, Jonny.” Tim practically facepalmed after seeing Jonny’s real face again. “Were you seriously wearing your eyeliner under that device? You are such a fucking dork sometimes.” 

He chuckled. “After Ashes’ impromptu visit I made sure to look as Jonny d’Ville as possible for whatever partner inevitably visited me next.”

Jonny sighed. “Honestly, I’m glad it wasn’t all for nothing. I love Chaim, but they don’t know about the Space Piracy yet. I miss talking to someone about my actual life. You will not believe how boring it is here. I think being Jonathan Sims is starting to affect my mental state. Especially when I’m in this damn institute.”

“It totally is. I thought Ashes was fucking with us when they said you sound like you’ve finally read the english dictionary.” She cleared her throat. “So tell me about this new partner.” She grinned wickedly.

“Well, Chaim is-”  
  
“Oh yes, I’m certain that Inspector Lyfrassir is absolutely lovely.” 

Jonny gasped, eyes darting around as if someone could have heard her. He stood up and placed his hand over Tim’s mouth. “Shut the hell you idiot. They could be listening in.”

He felt Tim smile against his hand. She darted her tongue out and licked his palm. Jonny grimaced, and shot his hand down to his drawer. “EW! I swear to god Tim I will take out my colt right now and kill you fucking dead.”

Tim frowned. “And normally I would believe you. But manslaughter happens to be a crime.” She waved a hand in Jonny’s general direction. “Besides, last time I checked you liked me licking your hand.”

“The moment five years are up I’m going to murder you.” He sat down, there were more pressing matters at hand. “How did you know that Lyfrassir was Chaim?”  
  
“Well firstly, they look exactly like the picture Marius drew for us. Secondly, Ashes told us all.” She must have seen his face. “All of us but Marius, of course –and maybe Nastya–. If they had told Marius then Lyfrassir might not be on this planet right now.” She crossed her legs. “So tell me about Lyfrassir.”

–––––––

Chaim had been sitting at their cubicle for the whole work day and they were starting to get nervous.  
  
“Guys?” They said to get Tim and Sasha’s attention. “Do you think we should be getting worried about Jon? He's been in there with Jordan Kennedy for a bit too long, don’t you think?” The average statement took 30 minutes.  
  
Tim laughed, but Sasha answered. “I’m sure if Jon was being murdered he would be screaming his lungs out. Although if Jordan Kennedy aimed for the head I’m certain that he wouldn’t get the chance.”

“Holy fuck, that’s dark Sash.”  
  
“Will you two stop.” They snapped. “I’m seriously worried right now. You said that Jordan Kennedy didn’t look like they had just been through something statement worthy.”

Tim and Sasha looked at each other for a prolonged period of time. Tim was the one to finally speak. “Listen, Chaim. We’ve been getting concerned about your obsession with Mr bossman. I know you two went on a date, and considering the fact you never mentioned it again to us means that it probably didn’t go amazing. You’ve got to let this little crush go, mate.”

Chaim actually laughed at that. “You think that Jon has rejected me or something.” They were so insulted that the truth spilled out of their mouth. “Tim, we've been dating each other for the last three months. The reason I never talk about the dates at work is because A. it’s unprofessional, B. we basically live with each other so every night is date night.”

They felt proud at the starstruck expression on Tim and Sasha’s face. Sasha coughed. “Well, um, good for you. I guess you should be the best judge of whether or not this is out of character for Jon.”

Chaim got up and knocked on his boyfriend’s door. “Hullo? Jon are you alright.” There was scrambling on the other side.

“Yes, yes, come in dear!” Jon’s voice rang.

Chaim walked in to see Jon sitting in Jordan Kennedy’s lap. Jordan was dressed almost comically. They were wearing a corset that was connected to a skirt by belts. They also had on a trenchcoat that was tied around the waist by a strap. They were also undeniably stunning.

“Oh, I um,” Why was this stranger sitting in Jon’s lap? “Care to explain what’s going on here?”

Jordan picked Jon up and placed him to the side. They walked forward and extended their hand. “You’re Chaim Bragi, they/them, right?” They nodded. “Wonderful, I’m Jordan Kennedy, currently she/her.”

Chaim slowly reached out their hand and shook Jordan’s. “Nice to meet you. Would you like to tell me why my boyfriend was in your lap, please?”

“I’m one of Jon’s partners. He must have told you about us, yeah?” She eyed Jon.

“Of course I have.” He got up and walked over to his partner and girlfriend. “What do you take me for? An idiot?”  
  
“Yes.” He hit her on the arm.

“Yeah, he talks about his other partners pretty often, though he refuses to tell me any names. Besides Basira, of course.” Jordan looked confused for a moment before seemingly understanding. “Why are you here? Jon said all seven of his partners were out of town for one and a half months.

Jordan smiled, it was hypnotizing. “I decided to come back early for my dear Jon. I know how lonely he gets when left to his own devices.”

Chaim laughed, they liked her sense of humor. The perfect amount of dry. “Don’t you worry about that, I’ve been keeping him perfectly safe.”

She dragged her hand down Chaim’s shoulder in a show of gratitude. “I know, thank you for that.” She whispered slowly. Chaim blushed. Damn, she was pretty.

“If you two are going to fuck, do you mind inviting me too?”

“Shut up, Jon.” They croaked out, embarrassed. 

Jordan barked. “Oh, I like you. Glad to know that our Jon finally has some taste.”

“Now you’re just insulting yourself, dear.” Jon looked at the clock on the wall. “Shit, look at the time, work ended 3 minutes ago.”  
  


Chaim dug in their memory. “Don’t we have reservations at that old place down the street?” Jon affirmed.

Jordan laughed, it sounded lovely. “Guess this is where we part then. See you soon Jon.” She turned to exit the office.

  
“Wait!” Chaim said a little too loudly. “There is always room for one more person. I’m sure the restaurant wouldn’t mind.”

“Really? That sounds amazing.”

––––––

Jonny was elated, not only was he having one of the best dates he’d ever had on earth, but it was with both Lyfrassir and Tim.

It turns out the two of them got on like a house on fire. This surprised him as the two of them were rather different. Though how much of the connection was real and how much was just flirting was up for debate.

The two of them got to know each other over the nice dinner the three of them shared. Tim blushed whenever she was able to make Lyfrassir laugh and Lyfrassir hid their face whenever Tim made a sexual joke.

In the end Jonny invited them both back to his flat. They looked at each other and started to giggle, they both agreed and took Jonny’s hand.

All three of them fell asleep that night tangled up in each other. However, when Jon awoke he noticed that the spot Tim laid was empty and there was a note on the bedroom door.

Jonny got up and read the note that was in some dialect they had picked up during the war. 

  
  


_Hello Love,_

_I do hope this finds you first, though I doubt they can read this language. I had a wonderful time with you two last night. It breaks me to leave you two in the middle of night, but the others would be upset if I were to stay with you too long. I bet they would say that this was cheating even though there was no sex. Besides, Marius could get suspicious, we don’t want that, do we?_

_I’m shocked that you always seem to choose the most lovely sort of people for partners. I would definitely like to meet with Lyfrassir again. They are very charming, and I am very bisexual. You better convince them to come with us on the Aurora or I might let it slip to Marius. Lyf is just too interesting to leave to waste on this piece of rock_

_I plan on telling the girls (Nastya, Ivy, and of course Raphaella) to look into alternate methods of Mechanization. I believe we both don’t want Lyfrassir Edda to go anywhere. I think mortality is the only obstacle now._

_I would still like to know how you, a drunk rat of a man, got seven really hot people to love him, I know that number has increased by one. I don’t know if they’ve said it yet, but they do care for you deeply. Trust me, I’m an excellent judge of character._

_I know you haven’t told them about your identity yet, but you should._

_You should be scared, Mr d’Ville, with a person as pretty as Lyfrassir Edda as your partner, everyone is going to want to steal them. Including me. This evening was wonderful._

_But seriously, I saw you lot at dinner last night. Their eyes would get wide whenever you truly acted like my Jonny d’Ville. I know they love you for being him, not for being Jonathan Sims, who is an arsehole from what his assistants told Jordan Kennedy._

_I know they will say yes when you ask them to come with us. You’ve only been dating a few months, but I can’t see them living without you on this planet. Believe me, I’ve been stalking the both of you. Plus, it’s not like they really have anything else on earth to do._

_They’re totally worth the five year struggle, lovie._

_P.S Do tell Lyfrassir that they looked rather dashing at dinner last night._

_P.P.S Please try to hold out, Nastya said she might give me some of her gold after she wins, and I would like to get shitfaced at the nearest planet after this_

  
  


_All the love in the universe,_

_Gunpowder Tim_

  
Jonny chuckled as he slipped back into bed with Lyfrassir. Tim always had a way with words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my opinion (even though I write the fucking story) I interpret Tim’s forwardness as Ashes’ fault. They come back talking about Lyf and how infatuated Jonny is with them, who wouldn’t be curious.
> 
> Although in all honesty, I think I’m writing this for the sole purpose to prove that Lyfrassir Edda is hot.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, non descript panic attacks

Chapter Nine

  
  


One month and two weeks ago, Lyfrassir had woken Jonny up with frantic shaking. They asked him if he knew what had happened to Jordan.

He drew them into his lap and kissed their forehead, telling them to calm down, and that Jordan had to leave for a while, but they would be back with the others when they came home.

Lyfrassir, still in their confused ‘I’ve just woken up’ state, began to blubber about how they were sorry if they made Jordan uncomfortable, making her want to leave after they all fell asleep.

Jonny reassured them that ‘Jordan’ had needed to go off and they specifically asked if Lyfrassir wanted to meet with them again. Jonny made some kind of sex joke and they laughed at that, which had him feel all bubbly. He also made sure to pass on Tim’s comment about Lyf looking dashing, because it was true.

Now, Jonny was pacing his office, halfway into a panic episode. He had a week to bring up the subject of the Aurora to Lyfrassir, Which meant he would have to reveal himself as Jonny d’Ville.

Lyfrassir had displayed the ability to be a Space Pirate, free of laws and morals, in the past. They could be harsh with their words at points. Not to mention the look daggers that they give Elias Bouchard’s door every time they pass his office.

But Jonny d’Ville was different from the man that Lyfrassir was currently dating. Jonny wasn’t nearly as dignified or smart as Jonathann Sims pretended he was. Plus, even if Lyf had soon tendencies of violence or the idolization of, doesn’t mean that they’re going to be okay with running off into the sunset with him.

When this had all started, five months ago, Jonny never thought he would be falling this hard for them. In all honesty, he didn’t know what he would do if Lyfrassir rejected him. Probably curl up in a ball and cry for the next few centuries. He understood how Marius felt now.

He had a date with Lyf in a few minutes. This would be the day he told them the truth. If they didn’t like who he really was, then it wasn’t meant to be, he reasoned. But he couldn’t ignore the utter ache of his heart at the thought.

He had talked to Raphaella and Brian last night, while Lyfrassir slept soundly next to him. Beside promising to introduce Lyfrassir to them once they both got on the Aurora, Jonny asked for advice. He didn’t know how to broach the subject.

Brian and Raphaella had been horrible help in different ways. Brian told him to ‘follow his heart’ or some fucking shit like that. As much as he loved Lyfrassir, he was  _ not _ a touchy feely person. Raphaella, on the other hand, said that she would be alright with giving him a vial of some sleeping concoction if they needed to find alternate methods of getting Lyfrassir to come join their crew.

Jonny shut that down immediately. He was all for crime, even crime against his lovers. Hell, he had the current record of most crew members killed on The Aurora. But, death was temporary, let least for them. Joining the Mechanisms was forever. He could not make that choice for Lyfrassir.

He walked out to the assistants workstation. Jonny took a moment to say goodbye to Stoker and Sasha. Turns out they weren’t as annoying as he previously thought. He was going to miss them, when you’re immortal missing people seems futile, but they were fine enough people to give a farewell glance.

“Chaim. I need to talk to you in my office, please.” He said, putting on his best professional voice.

“Of course.” Lyfrassir put down their paperwork. Jonny took their hand and led them into his office closing the door behind the two of them. 

“Whoa. When did you suddenly start holding my hand at work.” They flushed. “Now Tim and Sasha are going to make fun of me.”   
  
“Screw them.” He jumped up to sit on his high desk, dragging Lyfrassir with so his knees were touching their waist. He flung his arms around his partner’s shoulders. “I wanna talk about our date tonight. Are you super busy right now?”

Lyfrassir kissed his cheek. “No, I actually just finished my work for the whole week. Did you finally choose a location?”

“Maybe. What do you say we blow off work tomorrow.” He proposed, fiddling with Lyfrassir’s hair. “Let me take you on a romantic getaway.”

Lyfrassir hummed. “I don’t see why not. It’ll probably piss Elias off, so that’s a win-win for me.”

If this worked, neither of them would have to see Elias Bouchard again. “Alright, go pack all of your must have items and everything of emotional value, and then meet me back at my flat.”

“Sounds like we’ll be gone for a while.” They smiled. “Where are you planning to go?”

“It’s a surprise, dear.” He patted Lyfrassir on the hollows of their cheek. “Do we have a date?”   
  
If Lyfrassir couldn’t go on a week-long trip with Jonny, then he didn’t know what he’d do. Lyfrassir agreeing to getting on the Aurora would mean them promising to be with Jonny and his crew for at least a thousand years.

“Oh, absolutely.” They kissed him on the lips and unwrapped Jonny’s arms around them. “I’ll be at your place by seven. Does that work for you?” He nodded.

Jonny sat on his desk chair after Lyfrassir left, and looked up train tickets for the hamlet Nastya told him the Aurora was parked in. He emailed Ivy, telling her to get a house ready and clean for them in Bampton. Which really meant ‘go kill a family with a nice house and then take care of the corpses.’

Okay, okay, okay. He could do this.

  
  


–––––––

Two hours later the two of them were curled up together on a train. Chaim was grateful that they had their section of the train all to themselves. Jon put down the seat divider so the two of them could properly snuggle with each other.

Jon had been rather tight lipped and fidgety ever since he asked them to come with him on the train. He was currently playing with the golden clasps of his luggage bag nervously.

Chaim took Jon’s hand, trying to calm him down. “Are you going to tell me where you’re going to whisk me off to? Or is this a pseudo-kidnapping?”

Jon smiled at them and stopped playing with luggage. “It’s a hamlet in Oxfordshire called Bampton. It’s supposed to be a nice little town.”   
  
“Is there any reason why you wanted to take me to Bampton on such a short notice.” Jon’s eyes became downcasted. “Not that I don’t love how sweet this is. It just seems kind of random.”

“I know.” He let out a breath. “I just need you to be in a place where we feel comfortable. I have something I need to ask you.”

“I feel comfortable back in London, at your flat.” 

Chaim was hoping that the thing Jon needed to ask them was not their hand in marriage. They loved Jon, but they had only been dating him for four months. Though the likelihood of that being the case was slim to none. They knew the two of them had moved extremely fast, but Chaim was almost certain that marriage was not on the table. 

Then there would be the issue of Jon’s other partners. Chaim wasn’t sure about the ways on earth, but when they lived on Asgard people with more than one partner were allowed to be wed as long as they were not royalty. They could perhaps reason that maybe earth had the same laws. Jon had, however, referred to Jordan as his girlfriend, not wife. So they doubted it.

They really needed to stop being so worried about Jon’s plans. Chaim trusted him for some stupid reason. Jon would never make them uncomfortable. 

The two of them had arrived at Bampton two hours ago. Jon checked his email for the address and then walked them to a large house in the middle of a field. 

Jon had taken the long way round to the house. He avoided the woods with a passion. Saying that he wasn’t planning on getting his trousers dirty before dinner that night. Chaim could tell it was an excuse for something, but once they saw the hamlet they couldn’t really care.

Bampton was lovely. It looked like a fairytale village with its stone brick houses and open meadows. Chaim wanted to go fall down into that grass. It looked like it would make an amazing bed.

When it was time for dinner Jon took them out to the large backyard behind their house. He laid a red and white picnic blanket on the ground and put down a basket full of sandwiches on the fabric.

As Jon bit into his ham, swiss, and mayonnaise sandwich, Chaim finally asked him what this was all about. “What is it? Why did you bring me to Oxfordshire? What do you want to ask me? You’re not normally this romantic.”

They could count on one hand the number of times they had shown PDA in the Archives. Even then, Chaim was normally the one to start cuddling him when they were getting into bed.

Jon frowned into his sandwich before putting down on the plastic wrap. “Don’t make me answer that yet, please.”   
  
Jon never said please. Once they had gotten past that first date he became more like Fun Jon. And Fun Jon was a little shit. “Answer what?”

“All of it.” He took their hand. “I swear that after tonight everything will make sense.”

They ate in tense silence until Chaim couldn’t take it anymore. They chewed the last piece of their dinner angrily, which must have looked humorous.    
  
“Alright, listen here,” Chaim said, slightly too harshly. They exhaled, trying to get their tone under some sort of control. “You’re starting to worry me, Jon. I adore your spontaneity, but please tell me why you brought me here. I know you don’t want to, but I can’t take it anymore. I need to know you are not cross with me.”

Jon put the empty wraps of their sandwiches in the basket. “Fine. And don’t worry. You’ll know when I’m cross with you.” How reassuring.

He took both of his hands in Lyfrassir’s. “I’m just scared that once I tell you, you’ll hate me. Isn’t that super fucking dramatic. Do I sound like I’m in some kind of cheesy romantic teen book?”

“No, not unless you’re about to confess to me that you’re a vampire.”

Jon laughed dryly. “I might as well be.”

“What do you mean by that.”

“I see how you look at me, dear. From the moment you met me. It’s what drew you towards me, wasn’t it? I bet you saw it the second you laid eyes on me, I bet it was the reason you even decided to go out on a date with me in the first place.” His hands were shaking. “You know I’m not who I really say I am.”

Chaim frowned. “Did I know that you were hiding something from the whole world when I saw for the time you? No. Was I inexplicably drawn to your mysterious dementor? Yes.” They tried to smile. “Does this mean you’re going to tell me about your secret dark past.”

“I’d actually like to start this with talking about you.”

“What could you possibly want to know about me that you don’t already know?” Chaim tried to keep their tone light.

Jon pressed his mouth into a hardline. He placed his right hand on Chaim’s jaw. “I want to know everything about you, Lyfrassir.”

“What.” Their voice cracked. They scrambled away from Jon. Pressing themself up against a tree stump. “How? How? How?” They were spiraling into a frenzy. 

“It’s okay, I know Marius.”

They were hyperventilating. They felt faint. Shit, they were going to pass out. They began to hit their head harshly against the tree,  _ hard. _

Jon wrapped his arms around them and carried them bridal style into the bed.

He carded his hands through their hair, swearing to explain in the morning.    
  
But Lyfrassir didn’t know who to trust anymore. What the Hel had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achkkkkk! I’m sorry for not update for a week and a half, schools been a bitch. Not to worry though! I have 20ish chapters ready to go. I promise not to go this long without updating again.
> 
> Also, admittedly I wasn’t in the best headspace when writing this chapter a month ago, so I saved the description of the panic attack for next chapter.
> 
> And to make up for the delay I’ll be posting the next chapter this week as well.
> 
> Please excuse the spelling errors. This isn’t beta-ed yet, I’ll get around to it sometime this week, probably on Saturday, who knows, I might add a whole nother scene *insert side-eyeing emoji*


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, stressful situations, blaming oneself for another’s misfortune 
> 
> Tim’s pronouns are she/her this chapter

Jonny had almost passed out alongside his partner. This was the worst reaction he could have imagined. So terrible that he hadn’t even thought about it.

He didn’t think that Lyfrassir hated him. They started their panic episode too quickly after his reveal to process what he said and begin to hate him. It was so much worse than that. He had seen it in their face. They were scared.

Jonny made his partners feel things that were less than ideal. He murdered them often. But he never intentionally hurt them in any bad way. Did he insult them? Yes. Did he beat the shit out of them? Yes. However, he wouldn’t even think about harming his partners in any sort of way that would hurt them emotionally, or cause them prolonged distress. 

The fact Lyfrassir was in enough emotional pain to have a panic attack made him feel like shit. He didn’t even know why they had reacted that way. Lyf wasn’t a particularly jumpy person.

Fuck, he couldn’t handle this right now. Jonny hopped on the bed with an electronic pad. He linked his arm with the unconscious one next to him, rubbing their fingers in between his thumb and pointer. They were going to be out for a while.

He called the Aurora, waiting for someone to answer. Jonny would be fine with Marius answering at this point. He just needed to talk to someone about it. Jonny couldn’t go through this alone right now.

Brian answered the call. He was sitting on his bed cross legged. He looked surprised to see Jonny on the other end of the screen.

“Oh, hello dear. Are you calling to confirm your pick up in a week's time?” He was tinkering with some sort of circuit on his forearm. 

“No, no. I’m here in Oxfordshire. Ivy got us a cottage near the Aurora.” Shit. His voice was shaking. He hoped Brian chalked it up to horrible connection from such a long distance.

“Is there-” He needed to get his tone steadier. It sounded like he was just crying. “Is there anyone else near you?”

Brian gave him a confused look. “Just Tim. She’s finishing up in the bathroom.”

“Alright, alright. I need you lot to come down to the cottage, like now. Please. Just you two. And bring down Marius’ med bag.”

Brian frowned. “Okay. We’ll be there soon, but you owe us an explanation. He pointed at the screen and then hung up. 

By the time Tim and Brian finally knocked on the door, Jonny was practically useless with worry. He jumped out of bed, sparing some time to kiss Lyfrassir on the forehead gently.

“Come in! Come in!” He ushered frantically.

“Jonny, slow yourself for a second, dear.” Jonny was about to dart back to the room when Brian caught him by the shoulder.

“You need to calm down. You are not going to be any help if you’re on the edge of an episode the whole time.” Brian turned Jonny towards him.

Jonny nodded, walking into Brian’s open arms. He pushed his hands through Jonny’s short hair. “Okay, okay, I’m trying to be calm now.” He was making an honest effort.

Brian pulled back ever so slightly, but still had Jonny in his arms. “Can you tell us why you’re so upset right now.” He looked around the living room. “And does this have anything to do with the fact that Lyfrassir hasn’t greeted us yet?

Jonny buried his nose in Brian’s nape. “Yeah, I fucked up, Bri. I fucked up really badly.”

“Does Lyfrassir need medical attention right now?” He motioned to the medical bags he had brought off of the Aurora.

“Yes, I think they have a minor concussion. I don’t know if I can be in the same room as them right now, but they are in the bedroom. They’re knocked out, but seem half lucid. I don’t think they passed out from the concussion. They had a panic attack right before I tucked them into bed.” Jonny pointed to the door of the room Lyfrassir was in.

Brian gripped the handle of Marius’ bag and nodded. “Okay, you’re going to stay out here with Tim. You are right, I think you being there with them will only cause you more distress.”

As Brian headed to the bedroom, Tim took his place in front of Jonny. She put her hand on Jonny’s arm.

“Why don’t we sit down on the couch and you can tell me about what happened.” Tim took Jonny by the hand and led him to the raggedy old couch.

Tim placed Jonny on her lap and began to lean them back until they were both as far back as they could go. “It might help you with the stress.”

“I told them that Jonathan Sims was never real. I called them their actual name, and then mentioned that I knew Marius.” He twisted himself so he could see his girlfriend. “Then they started to have a panic attack.”

Tim nuzzled into Jonny’s neck, in some kind of attempt to be comforting. “How long was the attack?”

“Only 7 minutes.” 

Jonny knew that mortals with less baggage only had about two attacks in their whole life. The Mechanisms, however, had enough baggage to fill a plane and then some. One of them was prone to have an attack once a fortnight at the very least. 

That was one of the hard things about being immortal, you get all the pain of living several lives. That’s why Jonny never took any serious lovers who didn’t have the possibility to be Mechanized. He hoped that Lyfrassir’s Asgardian blood would make them live long enough to find out how the Doc turned them into Mechanisms. 

“Why do you think they have a concussion?” She asked.

“They um– started to hit their head on a tree trunk really hard. I couldn’t get their attention, I don’t even think they realized they were doing it for a while. I think they were having psychogenic blackouts several times.” He felt like such fucking shit.

Tim tilted her head in confusion. “Don’t those only happen when people are, like, really stressed? Honey, I know you feel bad, but I doubt you triggered something so bad that they started to have a trauma response. It was probably just a combination of panic and the new concussion. Besides, psychogenic blackouts are most common in victims of abuse. I don’t think Lyf has experienced that, I feel like you or Marius would have mentioned it to us. Right?”

Jonny’s cheeks turned hot. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. ‘M sorry, ‘m just a little on edge.”

Tim pushed Jonny off her lap gently and laid him down reclining on the couch. “It’s fine. Why don’t you tell me about your time on earth? It’s basically over now, and I always wondered what my planet was like in the past.”

Jonny knew that Tim was just trying to make him feel better by distracting him., but he appreciated the effort. “I dunno where to start.” He thought for a moment before settling on a topic. “Were a lot of people homophobic and transphobic pieces of shit in your time?” 

“Ugh, yeah, that’s earth nature. We’re always bigots. It’s a lot less common in my time. I never really had to come out as pan. You didn’t encounter any arseholes did you?”

Jonny scoffed. “Everyone on this planet is an arsehole. If you mean if I’ve met a person who was a dick about my bisexuality, no. According to Lyf, I’m pretty good at appearing ‘straight’, but they’ve had to deal with some bullshit.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Apparently, in 2016 it’s not acceptable for anyone but women to wear dresses and skirts, so everyone assumes Lyfrassir is a woman or a man that humans call a ‘fairy.’”

“That’s so fucking ridiculous, Lyfrassir looks nothing like a fairy.” Tim grabbed Jonny's legs and put them in her lap, starting to play with his trouser cuff. 

“That’s what I told them, but then they looked at me weird, apparently they don’t have fairies on Asgard or earth. And what’s worse is that half of the population doesn’t know what nonbinary pronouns are. And of the 50% that do, like 25% of them have no respect for them.” Jonny had considered many times that maybe it would be better for him to lose the dare, then he could blow up the earth, but that would probably mean killing Tim’s ancestors.

“Oh yeah, Ashes told me about that. They said that they used she/her pronouns because the chances were high that one of your assistants were transphobic. They even warned me against wearing that dress when I went to visit you. I think your assistants were pretty respectful, they called me by they/them.” Tim said.

“Yeah, Stoker and Sasha were not the worst at the Institute.” Jonny rolled his eyes.

Tim made an ‘ooo’ sound. “Is that resentment I hear, d’Ville? Are you holding a grudge against a mortal of all people. Why’s that? They’ll probably die soon anyways.”

Jonny laughed, it was a mix between himself and Jonathan Sims. “And I hope everyday that he does. His name is Elias Bouchard. He was my boss at The Magnus Institute. What a fucking bitch. He thought he could tell me what to do.”

“No offense, Jonny, but that was kind of his job. He was your boss.”

“It wasn’t just me though. I swear that Lyf hates him too. They always got really mad whenever he came down to the Archives. Elias was just a rat bastard of a man. In fact, I don’t think any of us liked him.”

“Wow. I didn’t really get a hateful vibe from Lyfrassir. Is he really that bad?”

Jonny scowled, just because it felt nice to do something so familiar. “I wouldn’t expect you to know much about Lyfrassir. You left after one night after all.”

“Are you going to be a bitter shit about this?” She sighed. Of course he was. “Alright, fine. I shouldn’t have left you and Lyf after just one night. I just really didn’t want Marius to be suspicious, we had a breakfast date in the morning.”

Jonny lifted his foot into Tim’s chin in a half hearted kick. “Whatever, I wasn’t too broken up about it.”

Tim reached down and pulled Jonny up by his tie. She pressed the Figuramuto off. She took his tie and threw it on the coffee table.

“We should get you out of these clothes.” Jonny grinned. “Not like that, you pervert. I meant your time on earth is basically up. I don’t see why you should still be in these clothes. Like I said at the beginning of this all: the whole Jonathan Sims get up makes you look like a fucking prick.”

“Well, I hope you brought something for me to change into, unless you want me to be lounging around naked. Which I’m totally fine with.” Jonny pinched Tim’s cheeks. 

“I think Brian packed some clothes in Marius’ bag.” She moved to get up. “Let me go talk to him about it. I’ll make sure to check on Lyfrassir while I’m in there.

He nodded. Jonny had to trust that Brian would help Lyfrassir as best as anyone could. None of the Mechanisms really had any kind of first aid certification. Almost every time his partners or Nastya were hurt, their fellow Mechanisms would just let them bleed out. It was easier and didn’t waste Marius’ precious medical supplies that he never used.

Tim came back out of their room and placed Jonny’s clothes on the coffee table. Fucking finally, he had missed these clothes. Jonathan Sims dressed like a prude. He couldn’t breathe in that dumbarse tie, it choked him.

Jonny quickly unbuttoned his shirt after pulling off his sweater vest and glasses, tossing them carelessly on the wooden floor. “Remind me to tell Ashes to burn all these clothes.”

Tim picked up the tie and threaded it through her fingers. “I don’t know. I bet we could make good use of this. It’s got some nice materials.” She pulled it taut. “Is this silk?”

Snatching the tie, Jonny threw it in the pile forming on the floor. “Yes, which means it’ll burn faster than cotton and wool. So it will burn first.”

Jonny took off his slacks. “Whoa. You don’t have any belts on. That’s a first in over a century.” Tim said as she handed him his normal trousers.

After tightening the lat belt around his waist he fell on the couch, swinging an arm over his eyes. “I can’t wait for six days to be up. You know I’ve been planning who I wanted to kill first.”

“Was it that Elias fellow?” Tim asked, sitting next to him.

“No, no one in London. I couldn’t get out of that damn cesspool fast enough. I think I finally settled on going to the nearest planet of insignificance and murdering a whole town.” He smiled. “Alone. Of course. I’m sure you got as much killing out of you wanted over these five years.”

“Actually The Toy Soldier is the only one whose been doing that shit. Ashes told you about its new cult thingy, right?”

“Yeah, I think I also got a statement about one of its victims. It was pretty funny.”

They heard a cough from the door. Brian was standing there. “So, um, they’re not awake yet, but I think, if you’re up to it emotionally, you both should be there when they wake up. They don’t really know me.”

Jonny and Tim basically launched themselves off of the couch. And held hands as they both walked to the sleeping Lyfrassir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break from writing chapter 31 yesterday and wrote a 3,000 word straight!TMA fic based on the straighttma blog on tumblr. That should be up sometime this week.


End file.
